Is it still called "Vacation Head..."

...if you aren't coming back?

Now that everyone knows our plans and I think I have the support of my family and friends in our decision to live in the UK, I feel like I'm ready for it to happen now. Now. Yesterday. Soon.

I have never been very good with being patient.

I found myself being very slack with work last week. This week I almost considered letting one of our clinicians interpret for her own client (something I'm vehemently against for ethical and boundary reasons) just so that I could take some time off and go to Atlanta to see Liz and Andrew before they head back to the UK this weekend...why? Of course because I love them dearly, but also because they are a link to Simon and a link to my new life...and because if Andrew talks to me long enough I can almost hear the Yorkshire in his voice.

Liz will get me for that one, I'm sure...love you, ebeth. Mmmmmwa.

Simon and I started going through my collection of Very Important Things that Must Move With Me Everytime I Move while he was here...boxes of old receipts, tons of old photographs, clothes that haven't been out of boxes in more than five years...stuff. It's all just stuff and I still have a good metric TON to go through before I move.

Before I move...in February of 2009. I say it like that and it sounds like it's a million miles away. But if I let myself think on it too long it's right around the corner and I start feeling like I'm never going to get everything done on time.

Serious Vacation Head. Can you call in sick for that?

Never Trust a Yorkshireman with a Camera-Phone

Also known as Embarrass Yourself Before Someone Else Does, Boys and Girls...

Time to play "Catch Up"

thee and me
Originally uploaded by Nancy Allen

It's been awhile since I've posted, I know, but there has been a lot going on here at the Lettuce that hasn't been able to be posted publicly...until now.

No, I'm not pregnant, I haven't sprouted an extra head, nor am I adopting any more greyhounds for the time being. I am not quitting my job to blog full time, nor am I ready to publish another book or sell anything online (but if you haven't gotten a chance, please do check out my books at Lulu.com.../end shameless plug here).

Big thing number one is that I'm getting married...again. I hate saying getting married AGAIN because the circumstances and the men are just so different that comparing anything about the two experiences is akin to apples and oranges, save the fact that I will again be someone's wife and have a husband. Simon and I are looking at a date around the very first of January of 2009, which gives me just enough time to pull my hair out and scratch out my eyeballs in stress...i.e. 9 months. While there isn't as much to do for this affair as there was the first time around (because a big second wedding is just tacky), there are still flowers to arrange and a dress to fit into for me. I'm leaning toward no bridesmaids, just a maid/matron of honor for me.

Simon and I were toying with the idea of having Jeany and Daisy come down the aisle with flower petals on their backs or some such which led me to the hilarious image of Daisy shooting down the aisle at full speed, flower petals zooming out from her wake like tiny projectiles that would break skin and put out eyes, then hitting me in the chest with her front paws so hard that she knocks everyone down like a row of dominoes. We then decided that perhaps that would NOT be such a good idea.

That's about as much wedding planning we've done, other than ask to have the wedding at my sister's church in Atlanta and ask my father to officiate. Speaking of my sister, for a moment, she's famous! Sooz was featured in the Atlanta Journal and Constitution's religion section last week with pictures and everything!! Clicking on the above link will take you to the photos from that article, "Finding a deeper meaning in Easter." There is a picture in the gallery in the first link of the sanctuary, which has just gorgeous stained glass.

The next bit of news that is going to turn my entire head of hair white in the planning is that after the wedding I will be moving to England to live there with Simon. We're thinking that the move will be sometime in the first week of February. Between now and then I have to research USA fiance visa procedures for him, UK spouse visa procedures for me, PETS procedures for the animals, cost of shipping four animals to the UK as well as the how to's of such a venture...and sometimes it all seems insurmountable.

It seems insurmountable until I have to stand on the other side of the glass, watching Simon go up the escalator to the A concourse at Greenville Spartanburg International Airport. Nothing is too hard, nothing is too overwhelming, nothing is impossible if it will allow me to never have to feel that kind of pain and loneliness again. All the stress of moving, living in another country, learning to drive on the other side of the road, being away from my family...it will be done and dusted and Simon and I will have a new and happy life to look forward to in the UK, and that is what matters.

Hello from Athens, GA!!

Gooooooo Dawgs!!
Originally uploaded by Nancy Allen

Simon and I took the dogs down and cruised around campus a bit...I didn't want them to be intimidated by the mascot so we didn't stay too long.

Man alive do I love that town!! GO DAWGS!

Restoration of Faith

Last weekend I happened to see a thread on a large message board to which I belong that announced a missing greyhound in Anderson, SC. Further, said missing dog was seen in areas very close to where Scott and I used to live, so I made a plan to join the search.

Monday afternoon I took my three dogs and we tromped about in the mud at the edge of Lake Hartwell, looking at tracks in the mud and discussing where to put the trap on the property that clearly wasn't ours. It was while I was there that I learned more about the dog for whom we were searching.

Her owners were moving and had family helping them, a door wasn't shut tightly, the wind blew the door open, and out one of the greyhounds went to investigate. (I nearly had the same kind of experience just this morning...the lawn service came and somehow didn't feel it was important to shut the gate behind them, but I digress...) She went missing on the 9th of February, and because the adoption group that her owners used is no longer in business, they felt they were on their own to find her. Finally they had to both move to their new home, leaving behind a newspaper ad and hope that someone would find her.

When those of us in the greyhound-owner community found out she was out loose, we could have just hugged our own hounds and been sad for the poor dog from our own warm homes. But we didn't. We posted and crossposted information on message boards. We made calls and sent faxes with the dog's information and last known whereabouts. We tromped about in the mud and underbrush, straining to hear tags jingling over our pounding hearts every time a twig snapped in the nearby woods.

We sat out in the dark, hoping she would magically appear. We made arrangements for search parties and skipped out of work to join the hunt. And finally, as if lead by some unseen force, our poor lost girl wandered up to some volunteers and let them hook a leash to her collar to bring her in from the cold.

I spend a lot of my time alone. I'm engaged, yes, but I'm still single. I have a lot to do for my animals that sends me home for lunch rather than out to a restaurant with co-workers and forbids me to stay out late with friends shopping or just hanging out over a cup of coffee. I don't begrudge my zoo one moment that I've missed out on with someone else to spend time with them, but sometimes I end up feeling rather like an island. My island has a connection to the mainland through the internet, of course, but in my own mind I always plan how I will deal with things on my own. I don't expect others to help me or to even really be there for me, because I've just gotten used to doing things myself and being my own support system.

Seeing all these people come together to help this family that we didn't even know...that most of us had never even seen, let alone spoken to on the phone...it reminded me that there is a world outside my four walls and that I need to rejoin it before I've isolated past the point of sanity. There are good people out there who will help you out for no other reason than it's the right thing to do. They don't want anything from you. They aren't using you. They're just there, ready to help or listen or dig through rubble to find your lost dog, and I'm proud that I was one of them...and thankful for the reminder.

Mills, mon Aristochat

Everybody wants to be a cat,
Because a cat's the only cat
Who knows where it's at.
Everybody's pickin' up on that feline beat,
'Cause everything else is obsolete.
-"Everybody wants to be a cat," The Aristocats, Disney

That cat is my hero this morning. After an overnight interpreting assignment that has left me useless and out sick from work today, I was awakened to the familiar sound of Mills chasing thin air as he does every morning. Only this morning it wasn't thin air. It was a mouse.

Sadly I was on the phone to Simon when I discovered what Mills had and therefore caused him some permanent hearing damage when I split the sound barrier squealing.

My little mouser first cornered his prey in the closet in my office, then herded it out to the sitting room as I got something to scoop it up in so that I could usher it outside. Mills chased it out from under the chair, and then kept it under the table until I could get it into a tupperware container. I then took it outside and flung it into the yard and that little buggar ran STRAIGHT BACK FOR THE STAIRS to come back in the front door. Thankfully it saw me standing there and ducked around into the bushes on the front of the house, then into the house via a vent on the front in the foundation. Hooray.

I couldn't just sit and watch Mills kill it though...don't get me wrong, I don't want mice in my house but there is something so evil about how cats kill their prey. And it made eye contact with me...that was all she wrote. Simon had encouraged me on the phone to save it, chuck it out the door to freedom rather than let Mills kill it, so that's what I did. And the intelligence I saw in those eyes (coupled with terror, of course) lead that little critter right back into the crawl space under my house. Again I say Hoo-Ray.

His adventure this morning has bolstered the opinion in Mills's mind that he is the alpha in this pack. As I was making my tea, he stood up on his hind legs to look (he seems to think that this simple posture will magically make him tall enough to see over the top of the counter) and the dogs came over to see what he was watching. I don't know what exactly happened next but Mills moved his head at them like "You want some of this?" and all three dogs BACKED UP. Too funny.

I gave my little man a saucer with a little milk in the bottom and scratched his ears before he took off on patrol again. Je t'aime, mon Aristochat. Je t'aime très beaucoup.

Greenville, Reflected.

Greenville, Reflected.
Originally uploaded by Nancy Allen

I took this back in December with my phone while stopped at an intersection and it is still the wallpaper on my phone. I love downtown Greenville, especially at night during and shortly after Christmas when the lights are still in the trees (they may be up all year, I just tend to be down there in the evenings more at Christmas time).

If I ever leave Greenville this is what I will miss the most, and that is why I adore this photo.

I dare you...

if you were a college student between 1984 and 1994, to listen to "Kiss Off" without dancing around the room, banging your head and jumping up and down.

Rediscovering music...iTunes rocks. By the way, check out De Novo Dahl. Their song titles are a little...wonky, to say the least, but I got turned on to them by a recent Sci Fi channel commercial featuring their tune "Shout" and I'm loving it. It actually makes me want to go for a fast paced and ever-so-slightly funky walk around my neighborhood.

Further, let's investigate my musical reccomendations for this week shall we (otherwise known as what I keep skipping to on my iPod)?

American Music and Kiss Off by the Violent Femmes
Gone Daddy Gone by Gnarls Barkley
All that Matters by Addison Road (one of this week's free tunes on iTunes in the USA)
Sisters of Avalon by Cyndi Lauper
Paralyzer and One Thing by Finger Eleven
Love Song by Sara Bareilles
Where Are You Now? by Ian Van Dahl
Song 2 by Blur (if you're a Torchwood fan...)
Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

It's a Sappy Kind of Thursday

Whatever our souls are made of,
his and mine are the same.
~E. Brontë, Wuthering Heights

Shrove Tuesday Meal Attempt

I know that I'm not the best cook in the world. Well aware of that fact, acutally...just consider my other culinary disasters, including but not limited to the time I put french onion soup powder into spaghetti with meat sauce or my famous Nancy's Noodle Nightmares where I can't STOP adding ingredients to the skillet...but this time I think it might NOT have been my fault.

Yesterday was Shrove Tuesday/Fat Tuesday/Mardi Gras/The Day Before Ash Wednesday and it is traditional in some parts of the world to eat pancakes on this day.

Shrove Tuesday is the term used in the United Kingdom,^[1] Australia,^[2] and Canada to refer to the day after Shrove Monday (or the more old fashioned Collop Monday) and before Ash Wednesday (the liturgical season of Lent begins on Ash Wednesday). In Ireland, the UK, and amongst Anglicans, Lutherans and possibly other Protestant denominations in Canada including Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and New Brunswick, this day is also known as Pancake Day or Pancake Tuesday, because it is customary to eat pancakes on this day.^[3][4][5] In other parts of the world—for example, in historically Catholic and French-speaking parts of the United States and elsewhere—this day is called Mardi Gras. In areas with large Polish-immigrant populations (for example, Chicago) it is known as Tłusty Czwartek and celebrated on the Tuesday before Lent. And in areas with large German-immigrant populations (for example, Pennsylvania Dutch Country) it is known as Fasnacht Day (also spelled Fausnacht Day and Fauschnaut Day). [from Wikipedia]

After hearing Simon and Liz talk about their pancakes, I became inspired to try to make some myself. After all, the recipe that Liz gave me in IM didn't seem that difficult and I had all the ingredients...sorta.

2 cups flour
2 cups milk
pinch of salt
2 tbsp butter

I assembled the ingredients:


Mixed up a fairly runny batter:


And poured it in the pan, tilting it to spread the batter, and waiting for the bubbles before I flipped it.


Problem is, my skillet isn't even close to flat and they were burning (we're talking smoke!) in the middle. So I ended up with gloppy and gross pancakes.



I'm so sad that I used the last of my strawberry jam on the one on the right. Neither was edible. So for the last one I stopped trying to pretend I was English and ate it the old fashioned American way...slathered with "Tastes Like Butter!" and drowned in "Light Lowfat Maple Syrup."


Note to Self: Ask Santa for proper electric skillet for Christmas this year.

Food for Thought...about Amurika

I actually fell asleep watching the State of the Union address by Dubya last night. I was asked this morning why I watched it at all...It was his last one ever, and I couldn't pass up one last time to hear his creative pronunciation...plus I wanted to see the crowd reactions. In between all the standing and applauding (without which that whole spectacle would only have taken a few minutes) there were some pretty choice candid shots of the audience.

For example, they kept swinging the camera around to Senator Clinton. What did they think she'd be doing? Mimicking him like a spoiled teenager? Sawing some logs like her husband during that video now making rounds? She was her usual polished self, listening attentively and standing to applaud when everyone else did.

One of the best candid shots came when in the speech Dubya talked about how we have to stay in Iraq and stay in Afghanistan and basically continue the war everywhere that we currently are. Just after he said:

These successes must continue. So we're adding 3,200 Marines to our forces in Afghanistan, where they will fight the terrorists and train the Afghan army and police.

Defeating the Taliban and al Qaeda is critical to our security, and I thank the Congress for supporting America's vital mission in Afghanistan.

the camera was on those that I presume, from their uniforms, to be the official representatives of the four branches of our military. The audience leapt to their feet...again...with thunderous applause...but those four men stayed in their seats. Maybe it was because they're military and just don't feel it appropriate to join in those kinds of outpourings of emotion...but to me it was very telling. I heard more about this plan on NPR while driving home from work...it seems that there are some in Congress who are wondering why it is that the United States continues to send our troops, specifically these 3,200 that Dubya mentions, into the most dangerous parts of this "war" while the other member nations of NATO send their people into the peaceful parts to rebuild schools and churches and lives. I think we've just seen our answer...once again, the United States charges ahead to take over the fight and be the bully...or savior, depending on your stance on the "war," I suppose...and our soldiers are sent into harm's way. And why? Dubya shared that with us as well...

But above all, know this: America will confront those who threaten our troops; we will stand by our allies; and we will defend our vital interests in the Persian Gulf.

Oh, right, oil. Not democracy. Oil. Isn't that our vital interest in the Persian Gulf?

Let freedom ring...

A Nancy by Any Other Name...

So all I wanted was to be Nancy Allen again. No more Lassiter, that's his name and not mine. Nancy Elizabeth Allen...just in time to become Nancy Elizabeth Dunne but that's another issue all together.

Because I did not appear in court on the day of my divorce hearing (upon the advice of my ex-husband's lawyer), the request made in the divorce papers to have my maiden name restored was not granted. Okay...trying hard not to get too wound up over that. I did what I was told and was stuck with Lassiter even though I was told I'd be Allen again.

Because...well, I really don't know why, actually, I was never sent a certified and real copy of the divorce decree. I got a PDF copy forwarded to me from my ex-husband that was presumably sent to him by his lawyer. Okay...so now I have to go to Spartanburg County and pay for a copy of something I should have been sent in the first place.

And because of all of this ridiculousness I can't change my name now because that process, per the SSA, could take up to 4-6 weeks to get my card back with my new name, and I don't think I can change my name on my passport if it isn't attached to my social security number...and by the time that's done, I won't have the two months or more it will take to get my new passport before I potentially go visit Simon in May.

I'm going to be Lassiter till I marry Simon, I'm afraid. A Nancy by Any Other Name may still be Nancy, but she's not a Happy Nancy, to be sure.

...in which I respond to some political rhetoric and other noise...

The New Colossus by E. Lazarus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Just make sure that when you send them, they are healthy both mentally and physically and that they have an aptitude for languages so that they can learn English quickly so that we Americans who have outgrown our own Immigrant status by way of seven or so generations born here won't have to take care of them...because if we will, you can just keep them. Go on, keep the antiquated system of health care we have that leaves a vast population without options for something that should be every person's right. Keep it up, make sure that everyone knows that Obama's middle name is Hussein, and he is therefore unfit to run our country. Remind everyone over and over that we are One Nation Under God because it says so on our failing dollars. And whatever you do, close those borders...we've got enough of everyone else's wretched refuse here already, so slam that golden door fast, before any more of them get in...

If you've read thus far and are afraid that I've hit my head on something hard have no fear. My tongue was so firmly in my cheek while writing that paragraph I think I may have bitten part of it off.

I was just participating in a debate on a message board I belong to that started with someone asking for opinions on the movie "Sicko" and became a back and forth about the state of everything from health care to prescription medications to discussions of how the US is viewed from the outside. And how are we viewed by the other nations of the world today? Lemme tell you, it ain't pretty.

They wonder why we are the wealthiest nation in the world, and yet we leave our homeless, our mentally ill, our poor to live and die on the streets. They see how we seek to fight terrorism, and how we have become automatically afraid of those from the middle east, yet our president is in the back pocket of those in Saudi Arabia that control the world's oil. They see how we have No Child Left Behind, but we seemed to have no trouble with The Lower Ninth Ward Left Behind after hurricane Katrina. We are a nation of contradictions, but one thing seems clear. Americans live in a consumerist society...in that we consume everything, as was well stated by a member of that message board. We are loud, we are rude, we are arrogant. I was on a plane recently on an international flight, and it was easy to spot the Americans in the crowd. Easy! Flashy, blingy (is that a word) clothes and accessories, loud voices, seats pushed back into other's laps, feet sprawled out in the aisles, no realisation that there was ANYONE on the plane other than them...we are a nation of people who have been wearing the title of "wealthiest country in the civilized world" for many years and now take it as our birthright to be obnoxious and rude and superior. I could hear the people around me speak and I could pretty much tell which ones were Americans and which weren't...and I will admit to keeping my mouth shut and wishing I'd picked up an accent in my 10 days abroad so that people wouldn't confuse me with the family three rows up that was annoying everyone from the other passengers to the flight attendants.

Now for the promised response to rhetoric...

Should we have universal free health care? In a word, YESTERDAY. Many people in this, the wealthiest country in the world, don't go to their doctors until they have to because they can't afford it, even with health insurance. We choose our jobs based on what kind of benefits they offer, and not if it is truly a job that we will enjoy and find fulfilling. While I love the commercials put out by the AMA now that say (in reference to those uninsured in America) "1 in 7 isn't just a number, it's 47 million too many," the plan that they propose on Voicefortheuninsured.org is just MORE insurance. Let's don't help people buy it, let's don't make it more affordable...let's make health care become so they don't need insurance at all.

Here's an example: I work with my hands. If I don't have my hands, I don't have a job. I had to stop going for chiropractic care because my insurance company decided that I should pay for my preventative medicine, not them. They will be more than happy to pay a co-pay, however, when I go in for my carpal tunnel surgery that could have been avoided with wellness care via my chiropractor...but only if there is a doctor that deems it other than elective surgery, and only in triplicate.

Another from my personal experience: Thankfully Zyrtec goes OTC on the 24th of this month...I haven't been able to get it for 2-3 years now (whenever it was that Claritin went OTC) because once other allergy meds became OTC my insurance stopped paying a co-pay on my Zyrtec. While I was taking Zyrtec I was FREE of the allergy symptoms I've had my entire life. Free. I had to switch to Claritin, which doesn't help me, really, and supplement it with Benadryl if I want to keep those allergy symptoms at bay. I know, I know, you're thinking "Why didn't you just get the doc to write something up that said you had to take the Zyrtec?" Excellent suggestion. I asked after that, and was told that (at the time, may be different now) allergy medications are "elective" medications in the absence of a condition such as asthma or worse, so he couldn't do anything for me.

I'm sorry, elective? It's not like I asked for a doctor's note to get botox. All I wanted was to be able to breathe. Didn't realize that breathing normally or having clear vision rather than eyes that feel like they have a pound of sand in them was my choice. It's sad when I think I wish that I had asthma or worse because then I could have my Zyrtec. Un-freaking-real.

As for the whole immigration thing, I was out to dinner with a friend last night and we were discussing that very topic. (I'm a tree-hugging left wing liberal commie pinko blah blah blah and proud of it, just in case you've missed that in some of my past posts here at The Lettuce.) I want to live in a country where people can come to get a better life. I want to live in a society where we help each other get along because it's the right thing to do. I want the America back that inspired Lazarus to write the poem above. I suppose there should have been another stanza that said something about "but only until we're full," or "but only if they agree to learn English," or "but only if they promise not to get sick or have babies until they've become citizens," because that is the rhetoric of the "Patriotic American" in 2008.

I really didn't mean for this to turn into a rambling rant...but it has, so I'll wrap it up. I'm annoyed with myself that I forgot to change my address with voter registration so I can't vote in the primaries...but since I'm a democrat living in South Carolina, I have to ask what the point is of making sure that I'm registered come November. Blah. It's a bad time to be an American...or a socialist...or at least that's how I see it. I just hope I'm on the other side when that Golden Door clangs shut and locks.

winter.

winter.
Originally uploaded by Nancy Allen

We actually got snow in Greenville! Last night it was falling pretty steadily for about four hours or so. HUGE flakes too! Daisy had never seen snow before, so that was kind of a challenge, getting her to actually go outside. Poor thing probably thought the sky was falling! She went out with me one time, but a large flake landed in her eye so she squinted and ran back to the back door as fast as possible.

Today it's raining but it's freezing rain so it's still very cold, wet, and slushy outside. I'm trying to imagine why the state didn't close offices today...only thing I can come up with is that the state capitol is in Columbia, where it's consistently five degrees warmer than anywhere else in the state. I'm just glad I don't have any appointments this morning!!

Just looking at that photo makes me cold...

Hello from Falls Park!

Hello from Falls Park!
Originally uploaded by Nancy Allen

Just today I remembered why I love Greenville, and why when I was in Alabama last year I longed to get back to the Upstate. Before my friend Leah went back home, we took all of our dogs out to the Reedy River Falls Park for a walk and it was just so gorgeous and tranquil...in the heart of downtown with its bustle is this oasis, and I love it. Late New Year's Res...go to Falls Park with the kids at least once a week!!