Focus

focus
Originally uploaded by Nancy Dunne

I'm back now from our vacation to the US, and I am just about over the stuffy head/sore throat I brought back. I'm trying really hard not to fall back into the place where I was before we left, and instead trying to focus on positives. It's like I have a camera lens for a brain and every so often I have to adjust the focus because I can't see anything clearly beyond the end of my own nose.

Already today I've done...nothing. To be fair, I really want whatever has invaded my sinuses to vacate, and I know full well that if I overdo it I'll be right back where I was as the plane was taking off on Tuesday...a head full of guck and problems swallowing.

Maybe I'm not ready to let go of being on vacation and not having responsibilities. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to do so much while we were in America that we didn't rest or relax much. Maybe there's still a bit of homesickness hanging out in the farthest corner of my brain, underneath Algebra and other things that I was promised would be useful when I grew up.

I did find it strangely comforting to get off the plane at Manchester Airport and find that process so familiar. I found the train, sat down with the latest Sookie Stackhouse book and I was back home again, complete with rolling hills out the train window and Turkey's Eurovision entry in my ears.

I'm lucky that I didn't have to rush back to work and I can ease out of vacation mode...but at the same time a bit of distraction wouldn't hurt.

Almost back home...

Peace, Love, and Geeks
Originally uploaded by Nancy Dunne

Simon just reminded me that in 48hrs I will be back home and I'm surprisingly excited. I was a bit sad yesterday, and honestly it was because I was feeling like I wasn't sure where I belonged. When I'm with Simon I know where I belong, and when he left I was surprisingly lost. Well, not surprising I guess because I belong with my husband, but I thought that it would be just more of the same, hanging out with family and friends and loving being in America.

While I did do all that, I felt out of sorts somehow. It's a strange feeling, the first time you come back to your home country yet you don't have a "home." I visited Anne and stayed in the room I lived in back in March, but it was different. Before when I'd visit Simon, I'd come back home to my home, so this time I'm really a visitor in the States. I even find myself referring to Keighley as home, which is a bittersweet small victory (nod to Katy and Christine Kane, there).

Today is a bit of shopping with Mom and Dad and then the monumental task of shoving toothpaste back in the tube...otherwise known as packing suitcases. Heaven help me come Christmas time if we have to take back gifts on a 1 checked bag each allowance. I just hope the sniffer dogs at the airports aren't fond of Zebra Cakes or Kraft Dinners!

Happy Birthday, America.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Vacation Days Are Numbered...

Exit sign, KWVR Station
Originally uploaded by Nancy Dunne

Here's a quick recap of our American Vacation...

22 June: Get up before the crack of dawn and catch taxis/trains to Manchester Airport. Land in Atlanta, take train to meet family and spend a lovely night with Susan and Dave and Joy.

23 June: Travel to gorgeous North Georgia Mountains with parents.

24 June: Have lovely lunch with my father's sisters and brother. Got to meet Dad's brother for the first time, and found him to be a lovely man and an absolute image of my father in 20 years.

25 June: Traveled up to Greenville for a wonderful evening with Katy, Kurt, and ELLLLLLEREEEEE. Thanks for providing us an oasis of calm and a fabulous evening of conversation. We'll put the sheets on the guest room bed for you right away!

26 June: Became shopping fools at the "Yellow Mall" in Gaffney, SC. Discovered just how much heat one body can take before shopping stops being fun. I did manage to snag two new pairs of Privo! Sofrito shoes from the Clarks outlet which made me happy beyond mention. If anyone can find a pair of them in denim, I'll be your hero...

26-28 June: Left Yellow Mall and headed to Anne's in Greenville. Had an awesome weekend of laughing, shopping, Girly-Fying Leah, and general tomfoolery. I really needed that, Ladies (and Russell). Thank you so much.

28 June: Traveled back to Mom and Dad's to get Simon's things together and ready for him to fly back to the UK. Spent another lovely evening just hanging out and talking, then a harried few hours cramming things into every inch of his luggage.

29 June: Went back to Greenville to take Simon to the airport, and then took Leah to the Yellow Mall for more Girly Shopping. Finished off the evening with mexican food al fresco in downtown Greenville followed by a grand stroll up and down Main St. I absolutely adore that town, even in the sweltering heat.

30 June: Left to go back to Mom and Dad's. Caught an online class that gave me some CEUs for my interpreting certificate and again had a great time just sitting around talking. Have I mentioned how much I love my family?

1 July: Fantastic Day. Did Nothing. Much Relaxation.

2 July: Took a field trip to Athens, GA. I had lunch with my former boss and long time friend, Kevin. Was good to catch up and CHINESE BUFFET is always a good choice. After lunch, he dropped me off at THE MOST GORGEOUS TARGET I HAVE EVER SEEN and I spent two hours wandering the aisles before Mom and Dad came to collect me...and spent yet another hour there. When I tore myself away from Nirvana...err...Target, we headed over to pick up my Aunt and had a lovely dinner at Roadhouse Grill. Good day all around...I drove the BMW back to Cleveland and it didn't try to strangle me with the seat belt even once.

3 July: Packing day...sort of. Dad and I went up to my G'ma's house and got some of my things that had been in storage, and ended up sitting in the den just talking for a few hours. I learned more about my family and about Dad's time growing up, as well as felt very close to my Aunt who died almost two years ago. Was a bittersweet but good day.

That brings us to today...we are going to Susan and Dave's to have a BBQ with them and then hear Susan preach tomorrow morning. I'm packed other than essentials and am now heading off to get all girly-fied and ready to go see the most gorgeous baby on the earth, Joy.

Simon and I were discussing this vacation before he left on Monday, and I think that we will see a different Nancy when I get back home on Wednesday. I needed to get away, even though I don't work yet. Our house was becoming a shrine to all I had lost. I was still suffering under the losses of Jeany and Hunky as though they'd just happened. I was lamenting the loss of things I'd had in America and was unable to embrace the things I now have in the UK. Now I find myself missing my English friends and ready to get back to Keighley and start my new life...only 4 months late, right?

The train station is where?

The train station is where?
Originally uploaded by Nancy Dunne

I know it isn't Wednesday yet, but today is turning out to be a very peculiar Tuesday and I will most likely be occupied for the next few days with pre-vacation cleaning, laundry, and list making. Thought it best I go on and update you today.

The picture there is from Sunday's "short" walk down the canal from Saltaire to Bingley, and is the capture of the moment in time when I lost the will to live. Unlike Shipley and Saltaire, the train station in Bingley isn't right next to the canal, so it took us a bit of work to find it. Those that know Daisy will recognize that look on her face as that of a greyhound that has quit for the day. The walk was just lovely, and if you click on that photo you can see more of the ba-zillion pictures I took of tree roots, canal water, and other greenery.

Since last we spoke, Lettuce readers, we've heard officially from the CDC in Atlanta that Simon's plans to take H and J's ashes to be buried with my childhood dog Buffy (and my dad's childhood dog) in Cleveland are a go. Our vet here contacted "the Ministry" and got us covered on this side of the journey, so there shouldn't be any unpleasant surprises as far as that goes next week. Simon wants to take them back to the US, and I'm hoping that will bring him some closure. Daddy has agreed to go with him, which I think will be a good bonding experience for them as well.

Today's mail brought me a VERY special letter from my uncle in America. He hand wrote it, and while it basically just tells me what's going on in his part of the world, it is a precious reminder to me of my family and what is always waiting for me back home.

My first three months in the UK have been horrible and wonderful and exhausting and boring and just incredible. It's change. And change is good...and there are more changes to come to come...and I'm ready.

"You're right, things are gonna be different. But different doesn't always mean bad. It just means different." -Scrubs

Sisters...Sisters...

Just wanted to share this great photo that my father in law took of my two sisters in law, Sarah (L) and Louise (R), at our UK reception last Saturday. These two went above and beyond to throw us a fantastic "do!" Thanks so much y'all...I'm so proud to have you as my new sisters!!

Week Nine Update

Keighley Market, Church Green
Originally uploaded by Nancy Dunne

This past Saturday my sisters in law Louise and Sarah threw a wonderful reception for me and Simon here in the UK. It was a bit overwhelming, in that there were lots of new faces there to meet, but it was also wonderful to be so accepted into not only my husband's family but his circle of friends as well. Cheers all around, y'all! One thing I especially loved was the food on the buffet. The only thing missing, seriously, was Yorkshire pudding. Pork pies, mini scotch eggs/egg biters, bread and butter, and trifle. I love that it was very representative not only of England but of the particular part of the country where we live.

I had some doubts earlier this week about my place in this country and specifically in Yorkshire when the European election results came in, but I've had a good think about it since and I've decided that I love where I live. The people around me are real, genuine even to a fault, and they have all been so very nice to me. Also, if I understand the results correctly, there were two specific parts of "Yorkshire and theHumber" that had a large hand in voting in the British National Party and neither of them was Keighley . I was guilty of doing the same thing that I find annoying in others...painting an entire area with the same brush instead of seeing the individual parts that make up the whole. There are a lot of very progressive, intelligent, forward-thinking people in Yorkshire, just like there are everywhere. Sadly, there are also closed-minded, xenophobic people everywhere too.

The big news of the week, though, is that yesterday I took my first solo train trip yesterday. Although it was only to Bradford, it was all by myself and to a station I've only been to once prior. I popped over to go to a fantastic pet shop that Simon and I visited on my first trip over in 2007 so that I could get some nail trimming implements of doom for the cat. You'd think that I spent the entire trip berating myself for not doing it sooner, for being unnecessarily cautious, but I didn't. Instead I thoroughly enjoyed my new found freedom (and talked on twitter/posted pics to twitpic till I killed the battery in my phone) and made the entire journey in just over two hours. I can't say that I could have done that faster with a car.

I've applied for a job and for a BSL course at a college in Leeds...in two weeks I'll be visiting home...Daisy and Mills seem healthy and happy....dare I say all feels right? I still miss Hunky more than I can put into words...his loss makes Jeany's absence more acute and more bearable, all at the same time. But we're moving on; books to write, Yorkshire to explore.

I'm resolving to do better with the blog too...weekly updates on Wednesdays at the least. Hang in there, Lettuce Readers, the blog is heading back to normal, whatever that is for me anyway.