Eurovision 2013: Loreen - Euphoria - Opening Act (1st Semi-Final)

(Here's Loreen with all those Swedish Deaf and Hearing kids, as well as one of the most beautiful opening sequences I've seen for a Eurovision broadcast - it really shows how this contest brings all of Europe together, and I am here for that.)

The Silent Child and The Shape of Water, or Why I Stayed Up Too Late Last Night

Those that know me know that I live a lot of my life straddling two very different cultures, languages, and groups of people: The hearing world and the Deaf Community. I was born into the hearing world - I have no Deaf parents, siblings, or indeed any family that are Deaf. I am a NERDA: Not Even Related to a Deaf Adult (as opposed to a CODA - Child of a Deaf Adult - or SODA - Sibling of...you get the idea).

I started learning American Sign Language when I was about 10-11 years old, from a Deaf friend of mine and fellow clergy kid. We saw each other at United Methodist events for clergy and summer camp, and she taught me to communicate with her - which, I learned when I was much older - was her idiosyncratic "dialect," if you will, of ASL. But proper ASL or not, she taught me to think in three dimensions, to see everything as a picture rather than a string of words, haphazardly strung together and exhaled in an attempt to communicate. Whereas English is clunky and burdened with rules and auditory cues for intonation and emotion, ASL is streamlined. There is grammar, of course - it is a proper language after all - but learning it felt less like the verb sheets in high school Spanish and more like being let in on a magical secret. I can communicate with someone in another car with the windows rolled up. I can tell you that I am paying attention AND that I understand what you're saying all with a twitch of my nose. Truth be told, I fell in love HARD with ASL (and all signed languages, really), and I haven't bothered to get back up and brush myself off. Not to be maudlin, but while English is my first language and therefore (most of the time) the language of my mind, ASL is the language of my heart. I can say things in ASL that I physically, mentally, and emotionally CANNOT in English.

So, when I learned about the crowd-funded short film called The Silent Child, you know I had to learn more. I only wish I had known about it sooner! I fell in love with Maisie Sly, the actress that plays the lead role. To have that much ability and emotion at the age of six is extraordinary. If you can get a copy of it (currently on Google and YouTube here in the US, not sure about other parts of the world yet), DO IT. I was explaining to a co-worker this morning that Maisie's character Libby is just like so many Deaf children here in the US and around the world who suffer lasting effects from language deprivation just because they are not allowed to sign when they are young. And before you come out from behind your sofa and shout at me that they need to learn the spoken language of their country of origin, there is no reason why the signed language of that country can't be used in that respect.

I sat down to watch the Oscars not expecting The Silent Child to be another Children of a Lesser God, but had fingers crossed just the same. The nominees for that category were AMAZING, all in their own right - but when they announced the winner, it was like a victory for ASL. The writer and starring actress, Rachel Shenton, is a qualified BSL interpreter as well as an actress, and it was her passion for making sure Deaf children have the same access to APPROPRIATE language as their hearing peers that made this film possible. I bought it from Google Movies this morning and have watched it twice today..and to say it hits me in the feels is an understatement.


I can't say as much about the Oscar-winning picture, The Shape of Water, because I haven't seen it yet. When it first came out, the trailer was plastered ALL OVER MY FACEBOOK WALL because it has signing in it. "Is this a Deaf actress, Nancy?" "What do you think about this?" "Are you going to see it?"

At first, the answer to that was no. The movement now to fill Deaf roles with Deaf actors is very important to me for many reasons, not the least of which being it is a point where my two dearest loves (ASL and Theatre) intersect and overlap. So on first blush I was afraid this was yet another one of THOSE films and I pretended that it didn't exist. That's about as much as I do these days as far as protesting something goes. It was a monster movie, too, and those aren't my usual genre of choice, so it was a win-win for me.

Until it wasn't. The role was filled by a hearing actor because the character is mute, not Deaf. She signs to communicate expressively but hears to communicate receptively, and therefore a Deaf actress would have not been the right choice for the role.

I have other rants already prepared about only casting Deaf actors in roles written as Deaf rather than as a viable choice for any role in the name of diversity, but I will put that back in my pocket for now.

If I can get myself to sit through a monster movie, I will watch The Shape of Water now, not only because it won Best Picture or it has ASL in it, but also because it looks to be a visually stunning film - and that is part and parcel of the Deaf experience, isn't it? Conveying emotion and story by showing rather than telling? On my list of to-do after watching this film is to stop feeling the need to correct everyone that is WRONG ON THE INTERNET about how Rachel Shenton could barely sign the acceptance speech at the Oscars last night or how the parents were vilified for making the choice to force the child to learn speech rather than ASL...but, for now, I'm going to take a nap. If you have the means, though, see both of these movies.  Hollywood is making small steps to bring more diverse stories to the big screen (Coco, Black Panther, etc) so I can't wait to see what is coming soon!

Recognize that young lady there?

Miss Deaf America at the Super Bowl, a photo by Nancy Dunne on Flickr.

No? I didn't think you would. She's Rachel Mazique, and she is the currently reigning Miss Deaf America. She was invited to perform "America the Beautiful" and "The Star Spangled Banner" in ASL at Super Bowl XVII this past weekend in Indianapolis.

Are you scratching your head now, as I was, wondering how you missed that? Well, let me tell you why. You missed it because NBC chose to film (in close up) Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert, and Kelly Clarkson instead as they simultaneously performed the songs in English.

Oh, no wait, they did manage to film the choir of children that were singing with Ms. Clarkson.

What does that say to the Deaf community that tuned in to watch because they had heard she would be performing? It certainly explains the lack of sign language interpreter during those two parts of the pre-game festivities...I guess they thought they had that little bit of THE LAW covered when they asked Ms. Mazique to perform.

I'll tell you what it says. Your language is an afterthought. Your language interferes with the general public being able to gaze longingly at pretty celebrities whilst they sing. Your community is not legitimate in our eyes, so we invited her as a token gesture which has NO actual meaning.

Think this is wrong? Yeah, me too. If you click on the link here you can sign a petition demanding that the NFL and NBC offer an apology to Ms. Mazique and the Deaf/HOH community for this blatant snub.

Marlee Matlin tweeted about the ability of the camera people to capture M.I.A.'s rude gesture but not Ms. Mazique's performance.

When we expected some beautiful sign language during the #SuperBowl National Anthem, we got instead a "sign" during M.I.A.'s rap. Ahem.

Well said.

As seen on NERDA's world...My Deaf Family

Check it out, y'all. This is a fantastic idea for a reality show, and it's very well made to boot. Double props to Google for the automatic captioning!!

WE CAN, Y-E-S.

Count me in among the throngs of Americans that watched/listened to our 44th President being sworn in this morning. I was driving to an interpreting gig at 11:40am and listening to NPR's coverage on the car radio...and I didn't get past the opening remarks by Sen. Dianne Feinstein without having tears streaming down my face.

Why? Well, for one thing, I'm a Democrat. I have been a Democrat since I was old enough to know there were two main political parties in the United States. My parents are Democrats, though far more moderate/almost conservative than I in their political and social views. My sister and her husband are Democrats. I work in a social service field, often with the very people that make up the Grass Roots. The election of a Democratic president in concert with a Democratic congress to me signals a new era for my country and it makes me hopeful...something I haven't been very often over the last eight years.

Another reason is that this is the last time I will watch an inauguration of an American president while living in America for the time being. I will still remain American after I move to the UK with my husband, but there is something electric in the air here today. To be an American in America on a day when someone who wasn't even considered a human being when he was born just because of the color of his skin rise to become president of our country is overwhelming and amazing and I'm filled with pride in my country...something else I haven't felt in recent years.

I got to the job site early and sat in the parking lot, still listening to the proceedings on NPR. I got to hear VP Biden take his oath, then got out of the car to see my deaf client waiting on me. I explained that I was sorry to be late for the appointment, but that I wanted to hear the swearing in at least before we went inside. The deaf client agreed with me and asked me to interpret what was going on via the radio. The feeling was that we weren't going to go in until "OBAMA PRESIDENT, FINISH! WE CAN, Y-E-S!" (translated to spoken English: we weren't going in until Obama is president, YES WE CAN!) I interpreted the oath as I heard it via NPR and my client and I high-fived...and I cried a little again.

Yes we did...and now, yes we can. YES WE CAN.

A New Level of Professional...

...when you are sitting behind a microphone, voicing a presentation for a deaf mental health professional who is presenting to other mental health and random social services professional peers, and suddenly "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse is playing in your pocket because the button that you hit to keep your phone on mute was clearly, in fact, the volume button that cranked it up to VERY VERY LOUD. Have mercy.

Poetic...License?

Twas the night before conference and all through the manse
Not a human was stirring, they all seemed in a trance.
While Davey snoozing on the four poster bed,
Our Susan had visions of Days in her head.
My case was all opened, it covered the floor!
My laptop a humming, plugged in near the door,
I sat on the bed, wishing dearly for sleep
But it came not, not even after I'd counted sheep.

Why was I nervous? What could be the matter?
I'd spring from my bed, but that would cause a clatter.
So I'll sit here and surf, the internet awaits
Till my alarm sounds in five hours, the sound that I hates!


Yeah, why am I still awake, and further, writing bad poetry? 8 hours from now I'll be on a plane, headed for San Francisco to the RID, Inc conference where I'll be with people like me...people that get me...people that live the double life I lead as an interpreter...and I'll have to stand up in front of them and give a presentation when my mind is still in Georgia, Alabama, and South Carolina...with my aunt, my dogs, and my new job, rather than focused on Interpreting for Deaf Professionals in Clinical Settings. As Liz says from time to time, Oh, the GLAMOUR!

Maybe if I had this curling iron masquerading as a laptop off my legs I could actually get some sleep...Next post from San Fran!

(or at least from the airport...)

For Susan, So She Knows I Have a Backbone...

Irritating Self Important Co-Worker starts talking to one of my deaf co-workers without waiting for me to be turned around to interpret. The following sassy ensued...

Me: I'm sorry, I missed that.
Irritating Self Important Co-Worker: I was talking to HER.
Me: I know that, and I can't interpret what you said to her if I didn't HEAR it. What did you say?
Irritating Self Important Co-Worker: (rolls eyes) Right.

She then repeated herself. GAH! Y'all, it's not a complicated thing. Person A is deaf, Person B is not. Does Person B REALLY think that Person A is just going to magically be able to HEAR because Person B has something to say?

OY.

Tick tock, tick tock, y'all. 2 hours more and my vicarious trauma ends...at least here in Alabama, right? I'm still an interpreter after all...

Reflections on a Month

For the past four weeks, I have been the only interpreter at the hospital. (Now to be fair, I was gone for five working days in the middle, so technically it's only been three weeks.) Today, in honor of surviving that month without a single fatality or screamingly huge contract interpreter bill (well, other than the week I was gone but I digress), I wore a striped shirt and tennis shoes along with my jeans for Casual Friday.

For those scratching heads at the moment, interpreters tend to NOT wear stripes or plaid or anything other than solid, non-distracting, colors that contrast with one's skin tone.

There were days that I didn't sit down but once or twice all day. There were days that I was literally ready to fall asleep while actively interpreting just because I was so tired. Some days I could spell trazadone but couldn't spell my name. But it's over and Brian will be back on Monday.

I've learned that I know myself pretty well when it comes to my job. My flat out refusal to interpret anything longer than 45 minutes without a team interpreter does not come from laziness, as I'd feared, but rather from the fact that the message DOES indeed suffer when my brain and hands start to tire.

I've learned that I'm not as afraid of my job as I thought recently. It's hard to be worried that you're going to get socked in the teeth when you're running 90 to nothing all day long. Just doesn't occur to you.

I've learned that I really love interpreting and really don't want to do anything else. Ever. I don't want to be a teacher or a psychologist or a social worker or a secretary or anything...I like what I do, I know how to do what I do, and I feel that I do it pretty darn well.

I think I've earned a sick day next week...

Steam

I am a professional.

I am fluent in both languages. I'm not sure that you're even fluent in English.

I don't need to be told how to do my job. I had to have been pretty clear about what I was doing for my college to grant me a bachelor's degree and my professional organization to grant me national certification.

I'm fairly familiar with mental illness and working in this setting. The past 9 years of working in this setting have seen to that.

I know what I was hired to do, and I know what you were hired to do. Let's not confuse the two, shall we?

Until you know what it is like to be a necessary evil...until you know what it is like to be a walking after-thought...until you have been spoken about in front of your face as though you are an appliance or a chair in the room...

(Here's where my more sensitive readers might want to scroll down, by the way.)

Until you can understand sign and English and work between the two, get the hell out of my face, my business, and my way and let me do my job.

Whew.

AGAIN PLANE-CRASH, HAPPEN WHERE? HERE?

I was on my way to the psych hospital for work when the first plane hit. I had switched from my normal NPR to a local station here in Greenville, SC, and I clearly remember the first report followed by the DJ saying that it had to be either a joke or a small plane, as others have said. I switched to NPR to see if it was real, but was pulling into the parking lot and was running late (as usual).

The patient at the hospital at the time was a minor, a boy who was chronologically 13 and mentally about 5. I headed in to do the community meeting on the unit. I opened the door and all the kids and staff were huddled around the TV in the day room. I remember thinking "Crap, late again and this time I'm going to have to interpret a video!" I remember the looks on their faces. I remember how kids that would shy away from even catching a staff person's eye under normal circumstances were sitting there, clinging to other kids, to staff members, to each other. And I remember my client waving me over and asking me why the TV keeps showing the same movie over and over again...

I remember when the second plane hit because we were watching the TV. Immediately looks were exchanged among the staff and you could see the question hanging in the air..."Do we turn this off?" Thankfully they didn't, and when the kids asked questions the staff members were open and honest with them. They even came to enlist my help to ask my client if he understood what was going on. He had some questions that one would expect from a very young child: "Why did the plane hit the building?" "Why did the pilot not pay attention and fly right?" But the one that I can still see in my mind's eye when I think of 9-11 was the one that no one expected from him: "Where will they crash next? Here?"

I was still living with the ex then, and I don't think our TV was turned off for the next few weeks. It was always on either what I call the Shouting Channel (FoxNews) or the Green Channel (CNN). I didn't switch away from NPR to any other station on the radio for a long, long time.

Passive Aggressive Workplace Vengeance...Almost

Allegedly (pending successful progress with the Alabama Licensing Board for Interpreters and Transliterators) I will be leaving the SC DMH at the end of this month. As is the unfortunate (in my perspective, anyway) custom in Deaf Services, there is a "farewell" party thrown for people that leave us at the monthly statewide meeting called Deafnet (unless the person really doesn't want one or leaves on bad terms).

Why do I say unfortunate? Because I HATE HATE HATE events that call attention to me like that. Ask anyone that was unlucky enough to be near me when I was planning my wedding...they got a lot of "I don't knows" and "whatever you wants" as answers to their questions because I was so incredibly uncomfortable at the THOUGHT of all these people coming to one place just for me (well, and Scott too but you see my point) that I couldn't think. I blocked out most of the wedding but I remember clearly wanting to fly away at the end of the reception but still being concerned that everyone there was still having a good time, that everything would get cleaned up and put away, etc etc etc. I was so worn out from the stress of that experience that for the first several hours of my honeymoon I did nothing but cry.

Man, if that wasn't a clear indicator I don't know what is...but I digress...

Sooo if I can reign in my ADD brain a bit...The dreaded Farewell Party For Nancy has been planned for the August DeafNet meeting. Our administrative assistant, Shannon, asked me at the beginning of the week if I was scheduled to work the Friday before I leave for Britain. You might as well have asked me what the square root of an imaginary number is. "Ummm I don't know, did I request to be off?" was my answer. No response from her.

Yesterday at lunch with our psychiatrist Jill, my supervisor Tressy, Shannon, and our new children's counselor Dana, I was asked the same question. I again referred them to my leave slip. Tressy then told me that I was working that day and that I was to make sure I came to DeafNet. The point was still bouncing off my pointed little head. See, I don't go to DeafNet usually...it is more a staffing for the clinical personnel and quite honestly there is a LOT of clinical information that I don't want to know for fear that it might skew my interpretation.

But suddenly one of those thoughts that was skipping around my head like it was a maypole found purchase. "Oh no, you guys aren't thinking of something for me because I'm leaving?" Knowing smiles and nods all around. Tressy reminded me that my supervisor had told me to attend. I was trapped.

Let me stress again how much I hate anything that puts me at the center of attention like that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like having the floor just as much as anyone else does, but then I'm happy to give it to someone else. I'm totally not cool with thinking that someone has gone out of his or her way for me, it's just how I'm wired.

About 4pm I was sure that I had gotten my revenge. They said at lunch that my punishment for leaving was that I have to attend this DeafNet thing. Fine.

Holly (regional coordinator for the Columbia area, tends to plan DeafNet because she's central): Where would you like to eat for DeafNet on the 18th? What's your favorite kind of food?

Me (twisting my moustache evilly): My favorite? Sushi. Ha HA, thought I, no one likes sushi but me!!! I will have my revenge because THEY will have to decide where to eat rather than making me subject others to what I want for lunch!! Take THAT!

(and NO, I don't really have an evil moustache...)

(I don't have a friendly nor benign moustache either, thank you.)

Holly: GREAT! There is a wonderful sushi place in Columbia!! They even have cooked food for the non sushi eaters!

Me (after scraping my last shred of comfort off the underside of the cosmic sneaker): Great. Sounds like a plan.

What did I learn from this? Four things:
*Don't tell anyone you're leaving till you turn in your notice.
*Not everyone hates sushi.
*Farewell parties are as much for closure for those left behind as they are send offs for those leaving.
*I work with some of the best folks in the world.

Making Things My Own...

They say that once you have used a word or phrase in original thought it has "become your own" meaning that you understand it and it has become part of your personal language/vocabulary. There are two things that have crept into my mental dictionary and they have both come out in my interpreting recently...and one of them I can blame on my Canadian friends...

1. If you like Carlos Mencia and you've ever seen his show on Comedy Central, you know about Dee-Dee-Deeeeee. This phrase refers to someone who is kinda...dumb...? There are several levels to it, and different ways for it to be used. I used that during interpreting recently, as there is a sign that means just all out stupid, which looks like this: take your hand and bend it at the wrist, then repeatedly bang that hand into the center of your chest. I was interpreting and the jist of what the deaf person said was "They must think I'm some kind of idiot to think they can put that past me, but I'm not." She used the above described sign and *I* said "They must think I'm Dee Dee Deeeeee to try to put that past me, but I'm not." The hearing person looked at me and just grinned. I wanted to die.

2. The Canadian one...just today the deaf person said said, "Yes, we're really showing him our best today, right?" I voiced almost exactly that: "Yes, we're really showing him our best today, HEY?" I don't think the hearing person noticed.

*by the way, when I say that a deaf person "said" something, I'm giving you the meaning of what was signed...it occured to me that it might look a little weird that I'm not voicing exactly what I just said the deaf person said...GAH welcome to the weirdness of my job. Dee dee deeeeeee, hey?

Wherein I Refer You to Older Lettuce

Some other discussions I've had about my job, since that's apparently where my head is today...

More Lessons Learned

How Not to Use an Interpreter, by G.W. Bush

Things I've Learned (blogging after a really tough assignment)

Revelations in Green...Day

The Truth Needs No Translation...?

I had an interesting experience last night. I had a headache so I skipped my normal Friday night's Everquesting and watched a movie instead. Some time back I had bought "The Interpreter" on DVD because my boss had recommended it to me, but I hadn't even gotten around to taking it out of the shrink wrap until last night.

If you are a doctor or a lawyer or even a mental health professional or a teacher, you can find movies that are written about your profession. It is very rare that I find movies about my profession unless they are mainly about Deaf characters with interpreters as necessary evils, thrown into police stations or at the moment that the Deaf protagonist stands up to his or her hearing oppressors and gives a speech. I found myself identifying with Nicole Kidman's character in her professional role but on a different level than I do with the interpreters in the movies I just described.

I got into my field because I love languages, not because I have Deaf family members or because I have this burning desire to HELP. (Heh, I got into mental health because of the desire to HELP! Just kidding...sorta...) I have always found it fascinating to watch spoken language interpreters work. One of the best interpreting jobs I ever had was to work with a Russian-English interpreter when a former leader of the Soviet Union came to speak at the University of Georgia...I was more interested in meeting his interpreter than him!!

Anyway, back to the movie...One of the things that struck me was her reaction when she overheard the people talking in the GA after hours. I know now that part of the reason she didn't tell anyone right away was her connection to the situation, but that wasn't revealed until much later in the movie. Without that knowledge, I saw someone struggling with the same kind of ethical decision that interpreters are faced with on a regular basis. I think it happens even more with signed language interpreters because there is NO whispering in a signed language...and our consumers trust that we are ethical and competent professionals and that we won't run tell things that we see communicated that were meant to be private.

However, I also applauded her coming forth the following morning to report what she'd heard, even though it was against her own personal and political convictions to do so. I have faced similar situations, obviously not of the same magnitude, but I know it is a very tough call to make and even tougher to follow through on to go against your training and expectations as an interpreter and report something that you "overheard."

All in all I would highly recommend the movie, and that's saying a lot because I don't care for crime dramas and political thrillers normally. But this one hit close to home... I only wish I'd seen it sooner.