Red Stockings and Scripture Readings

Here's my holiday advice, free of charge. If you buy a smashing new jumper (the American meaning, a short dress...not the English meaning/a sweater) that's all pretty and Christmasy plaid and looks outstanding with your new favorite red Old Navy turtleneck, and you're slated to read a lesson during the "Lessons and Carols" Christmas Eve service at your Dad's church, don't wear red tights. Seriously. I caught sight of myself in the window at the chinese restaurant where we ate after church (the only place in town open) and let's just say Santa's Elves have got NOTHING on me.

Further, should you try on said jumper and think "Oh, it's a bit tight here and there but that will just hold all of me in nicely and the plaid will hide my Michelin Man physique..." You are wrong, my friend, wrong wrong wrong.

Imagine my joy when, in my short plaid too tight jumper and BLINDING red turtleneck and tights (just say a small prayer of thanks that I took off the red shoes in favor of black ones, since the red shoes have a tendency to slip off at the wrong moment...oh, and they're RED), the decision was made that those doing readings would sit in the choir loft...facing the congregation.

Well. At least I didn't mispronounce anything in my reading and didn't fall off the stage or onto the poor, now blinded people I was sitting next to on the pew. Happy Christmas, y'all. I think I need another cuppa tea.

How NOT to take a Christmas Photo

You're gonna jump in here with us, right Mommy? (Jeany and Daisy hang their heads in shame....)



Happy Headless Holidays!



Wrestlin' around the Christmas Tree...



(that one was so not funny at the time, I was trying to swing Daisy's butt around and at the same time she dug her nails in Hunky ran away...but looking at it now Jeany's face is like "Oh, Mommy that is SO not going to work!!" :lol)

Okay, this is...wait, are we in frame?...CRAP!


You guys got a BETTER way to do this?


Yeah...photoshop the dogs in later. Merry Christmas, y'all!

A Holiday Meme...a HoMe? MeHo?

(because Liz told me to...)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags. My parents used to have to help me cover my books with grocery bags in high school so if you think I'm able to wrap a gift alone you're insane. Oh yeah, and they're green too...

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. The dogs are less likely to wee on it.

3. When do you put up the tree? The weekend after my birthday...and Mary Catherine's birthday.

4. When do you take the tree down? Generally just after New Year's but this year it will be up until 8th January or longer because I'll be in the UK till the 7th.

5. Do you like egg nog? No. You shouldn't drink eggs and what on earth is nog? Relegated to the fruitcake category.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Probably Lady, a brittany spaniel that I got instead of the parrot I'd asked Santa to bring. Interestingly enough, Santa replied to my note in my Daddy's handwriting explaining why I didn't need a parrot. He is magical, I tell ya...

7. Do you have a nativity scene? My parents have one. It's a tradition for my sister (the minister, mind you) to put Baby Jesus on top of the stable. She's not right, that one...

8. Hardest person to buy for? Dave and Sooz.

9. Easiest person to buy for? The dogs, because they would love an old shoe!

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Thank you for reminding me! They will make it by Easter at least...

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? That's a hard one to answer...

12. Favorite Christmas movie? National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. "Pass me some of them potatoes, Clark, they are gooooooooo-ooooood!"

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? After my second paycheck in December.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes indeedy.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Those little white mints with the green and red sprinkles on them that my mother always has in abundance all over the kitchen...

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored but it was an accident.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Wizards of Winter by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra at the moment. But I think for traditional ones O Come, O Come Emmanuel is a favorite.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Well, they aren't going to come to me, so...

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star, compliments of Mom, Daddy, and Target.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning, of course...Santa hasn't brought anything Christmas Eve, silly.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Not being able to spend Christmas with my furry family. I miss them so much when I travel. But when everyone I'm visiting is either allergic or doesn't allow animals in the house (or both), I'm stuck.

23. Favorite dessert after Christmas dinner? Coconut cake. No kidding.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? To see everyone that I love.

25. Old fashioned lights or icicle lights on your house? I would have just white lights around the columns and in the bushes (with some garland around the columns) but I ran out of Decorate The House Money.

Peace out, peeps.

Peace out, peeps.
Originally uploaded by Nancy Allen

Sammie has gone home and taken a part of my heart with him. I will admit that it was nice to sleep past 6:30 this morning without the "teapot" sounding off from the foster room...but when I started to leave him with his new family last night and he looked at me like he was going to come with me, my heart just broke.

Have a good life, Sammie Baker Davis Junior. I know that you will want for nothing with the Loseys and they don't have kitties to worry you.

Man. Now I remember why I stopped fostering.

For those about to blog, I salute you.

I don't really know where that title came from, as I just typed it, thought it funny, and moved on to the body of this post. It has nothing to do with this post other than a memory (mentioned in the last Lettuce installment) of Cathie thinking that the look on my face meant someone was gonna get blogged...and I'm sure I had that look on all day for the past two days.

Starting this past Monday morning I was attending a "retreat" for where I work. I use the quotation marks because when you have to drive up and back because you are a single pet parent and the place doesn't allow animals it becomes less of a retreat and more of a departure...from sanity and rest, which are two of the goals of such an activity. Now, place said "retreat" in a facility on the tippy top of a mountain (complete with hairpin turns and no mobile service) and throw some moldy logs on the fire (I am TERRIBLY allergic to mold/mildew)and you've got a recipe for me to be laid up for the next few days reacting to histamines...in other words, sneezing, coughing, and unable to breathe through either side of my nose. Don't forget the runny eyes and the brand new tone that has joined the tinnitus choir in my ears...but that might be due to the elevation.

See, when I said it was on a mountain, I wasn't kidding. At the signpost directing you up the even more windy road toward the facility where we stayed is another sign stating "Eastern Continental Divide" and the elevation...which was TWO THOUSAND AND SOMETHING. There are single engine PLANES that don't go much higher than that.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the state of South Carolina for not marring our view of the mountains from those roads by adding guardrails. I hate having to look at an OHMYLORDTHATISALONGWAYDOWN kind of a drop off through the safety of guard rail metal.

I got home today around five and I've been sneezing and stopped up and just generally feeling bad every since. I felt that way last night but thought that I was just tired..until a co-worker told me that last night it was revealed that the wood was moldy. Good thing I didn't just go stick my head in the fire like I wanted to a few times to get warm. If so it would have been an ambulance carefully driving around those hairpin curves (see there, Simon? I've said it twice!) rather than me.

The retreat was a nice chance to not have to be doing actual work, but I'm just not wired for that sort of team building activity anymore. I used to be, when I was a camp counselor, but now I just sort of want to get on with it so that I can get my work done and head home. Shift in priorities I guess.

And now, my two benadryls and I are going to go slip into a nice sleep, I hope. I just have to wrap cotton wool around the clappers inside the giant bells going off in my ears and I'm golden. Night, y'all!