Music Monday: It probably won't do...

I know. It was used in Spiderman. It's by Nickleback. I know all these things, but I also know that it is A-List for belting out in the car, slamming my palm against the steering wheel to keep time, and trying NOT to bang my head or break into interpretive dance like the GenX kid I am. But with the upcoming Nano being...most likely, I mean it is only September still and I've lots of sleeps to change my mind between now and then...right, the next Nano is PROBABLY going to be focused on the next Guardians of Orana novel, Hero, it seemed appropriate. Enjoy.

Heroby Nickleback
I am so high. I can hear heavenI am so high. I can hear heavenWhoa, but heavenNo heaven don't hear me
And they say that a hero can save usI'm not gonna stand here and waitI'll hold on to the wings of the eaglesWatch as we all fly away
Someone told me love would all save usBut how can that be, look what love gave usA world full of killing, and blood-spillingThat world never came
And they say that a hero can save usI'm not gonna stand here and waitI'll hold on to the wings of the eaglesWatch as we all fly away, Hi-ii-igh!
Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to youIt isn't the love of a hero, and that's why I fear it won't do
And they say that a hero can save usI'm not gonna stand here and waitI'll hold on to the wings of the eaglesWatch as we all fly away
And they're watching us (Watching Us)And they're watching us (Watching Us)As we all fly away!
And they're watching us (Watching Us)And they're watching us (Watching Us)As we all fly away!
And they're watching us (Watching Us)And they're watching us (Watching Us)As we all fly awayWhoa, whoa

Music Monday: My Love, Florence...

I will admit right here and now that I have a crush on Florence...and probably the Machine too, if I'm honest. She is an amazing human being with an outstanding and mind-blowing talent and I will be honest, she's creeping up on Imagine Dragons for having the most songs in my writing playlists. Enjoy...it has captions!

A Happy Birthday Wish, One Day Late

The McDonald Children

Yesterday, September 11, would have been my Aunt Mary's 93rd birthday. She never married or had any children, so I try to remember her birthday because, like my Aunt Inez on my dad's side, she was very special to us growing up. 

While my dad's sister could very well have been a second mother to us, Aunt Mary was like the older sister I never had. She had impeccable taste when it came to picking out jewelry, she made fudge that could have started a fight it was so good, and she could stand up to my mother and her older brothers in her soft-spoken way that I wish I'd learned to do.

In fact, I remember suggesting to my mother that Aunt Mary move in with her since my father was in care and she was living alone. "Oh, no," she replied, "Mary and I wouldn't live together well. Neither of us wants that." 😄 (After hearing tales of how Aunt Mary and my Uncle Lewis couldn't ride long distances in the car together because they both liked to wind each other up and seeing her square off with Mom over holiday meal prep, I believed it.)

So happy Birthday, Aunt Mary. I hope all 5 of your siblings are with you for a glorious birthday dinner where -
to quote my Uncle Harold's famous proclamation when my father met my mom’s family, "nothing makes anyone sick." I also hope you and Uncle Lewis don't end up in a "debate."  

I love you and miss you very much. Please hug Aunt Jane, Mom, Uncle Sanford, Uncle Lewis, and Uncle Harold for me. 

Music Monday: Love Of Mine (Lyrics)

If you know me, you know I love Imagine Dragons, and I've said for ages that if I were to ever work on a soundtrack for a movie version of my books, they would be my first stop. There is so much in their catalogue that IS Orana and all my characters that live there...but this time I'm hearing them in a new light and with a new story in mind. My new project is the combination of several manuscripts in my never ending quest for a vampire story - kind of a Lost Boys meets Pretty in Pink urban fantasy...and this might be a good place to start. (No lyrics because they are in the video!) Enjoy.

Book Signing News! The Upstate Renaissance Faire In Greer, SC

Author Event, 742 in Rock Hill, 8/6/2022

So, I'm taking this crazy show on the road again, but not that far up the road this time. I will have my own booth (provided I can get that sucker set up and it isn't too windy that day) at the Upstate Renaissance Faire in Greer, SC this coming Saturday (Sept 10th). 

Y'all... I'm nervous. The good thing is that if I need something I have loads of people nearby that can come help - instead of at least two hours away like at the Carolina Ren Fest or the Atlanta Steampunk Expo. My trusty Sherpa, Anne, will be at the same faire but is working with the Hounds of East Fairhaven, and while hubs has the day off we don't want to leave the dogs alone that long.

You know what will make it better, though? If you come out to see me! You don't even have to buy a book (though that would be amazing, I really don't want to have to take all this stuff back home with me). Just come say hi and hang out in what I hope is a properly decorated booth run by a mostly properly decorated author.

Question...can I actually sign books while wearing my usual rennie garb? Only one way to find out...for more info, check out the link above or go to my website.

Music Monday: If you didn't see it...

You need to find the bit of the tribute concert that happened over the weekend at Wembley in London for Foo Fighters late drummer, Taylor Hawkins when his son Shane hopped on the drums and LEFT EVERYTHING HE HAD ON THAT STAGE. I mean, the entire event was emotional and I'm so upset that I didn't get to see the entire concert, but if you can find it, look for My Hero. I've posted the song and I've got to say that if the Foos don't recruit that boy they are missing a trick. 

You might also check out Wolfgang Van Halen performing Hot for Teacher along with Foo Fighters and the lead singer of The Darkness. That was something else, and just proves how strong genetics can be.

My Hero

by Foo Fighters

Too alarmin' now to talk about
Take your pictures down and shake it out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

Don't the best of them bleed it out
While the rest of them peter out?
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

Kudos, my hero
Leavin' all the mess
You know my hero
The one that's on

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

Music Monday: Diabolical Blue

This song came up on a playlist recently and while I'm not sure yet, I think it will be very important come to November's Nanowrimo. Or I just like Elbow. One or the other. Or both. Enjoy.


What Am I Without You?by Elbow
The universe keeps singing this songYour eyes are diabolical blue, oohI've been watching you walk on the water latelyMy arms outstretched when you do
What am I?What am I on the earth forIf not to put you to bed?If not to remind you to eat sometimes, if...If not to cradle your head?What am I without you?
The universe keeps singing its songI can't get it out of my headIt skips right along like a stone on waterAnd I think I know how it ends
The last eyes I wanna seeAre yours, are brown and diabolical blueThey never once criеd without laughing, babySo I'll line up a zinger for youThat's what I'll do
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohWhat am I without you?Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohWhat am I without you?What am I without you?What am I?

Man, it has been a week...

Cover Art: The Temple

So I am back at the DayJob™ now and...y'all. How did I forget everything that it entails in one short summer break? I mean, I haven't forgotten how to interpret, thankfully, but the other stuff has put me in the front seat of the struggle bus. It's also made me put off things that need to get done for my other life as a writer.

One thing that is coming up sooner than I'd thought is the release of my 8th Orana Chronicles novel, The Temple. EIGHT! I don't know how that happened or what I was doing when it did, but this beauty will be in preorder for e-book starting in October and released in all formats on November 5th. What?

I look back at those seven books in line ahead of The Temple and I can see a definite progression in the story arc, in my writing, and in character development, and that's a good thing. But it is leading me to think more broadly and after I got book two in the Arcstone series pulled into a second draft for last July's NaNoWriMo I think I might be ready to add a second book to the Luminous Beings series as well as branch out into some vampire fiction.

And here is where I can clearly hear the voice of my mother in the back of my mind cautioning me to finish one thing at a time because she knew me very well and she knew that often my excitement can override my ability to manage my time. 

So for now...let's just focus on The Temple, which follows the events of Red. Where that book gave Tairn a chance to step into the role of the main character, this one gives that same ability to Hack and Elys. I say every time that this is my favorite of the Orana characters, and while I love Hack and Elys dearly I still have a soft spot for Tairn. They have a strength of character that she has only just developed - and they have each other.

And that's all I can say without pulling my usual spoilers, so there ya go. Watch for more information on the release of The Temple...and be good to yourselves. Time flies by, whether you're having fun or not, it would seem.

Music Monday: A Journey to the 80s

The year was 1983. I was in seventh grade. And this magnificent band put out hit after hit...and now, a few years later (I'm not going to concede that the 80s were more than about 15 years ago, so don't try) this song hits differently. And when you put it with my WIP that you will have the chance to read in November, it just speaks to me of REDACTED and REDACTED and what happened at the end of Red. Also...it is a perfect example of 80s ballads at their best. Enjoy.

Send Her My Loveby Journey
It's been so longSince I've seen her faceYou say she's doin' fineI still recall a sad cafeHow it hurt so bad to see her cryI didn't want to say goodbye
Send her my loveMemories remainSend her my loveRoses never fadeSend her my love
The same hotelThe same old roomI'm on the road againShe needed so much moreThan I could giveWe knew our love could not pretendBroken hearts can always mend
Send her my loveMemories remainSend her my loveRoses never fadeSend her my love
Callin' out her name, I'm dreamin'Reflections of a face I'm seein'It's her voice that keeps on haunting me
Send her, send her my loveRoses never fadeMemories remainSend her, send her my love

Music Monday: A Bit of Shakespear...

I don't know what I was doing this past week when this song came to my attention...because I hadn't heard it in...well, several years. But I really listened to the lyrics and...Em. Lex. Arcstone. That's all I can say because of SPOILERS but...that manuscript is in the cooling-off time now and STILL, they are asking for me to tell more of their story. Yeesh.


Stayby Shakespears Sister
If this world is wearing thinAnd you're thinking of escapeI'll go anywhere with you
Just wrap me up in chainsBut if you try to go aloneDon't think I'll understand
Stay with meStay with me
In the silence of your roomIn the darkness of your dreamsYou must only think of me
There can be no in betweenWhen your pride is on the floorI'll make you beg for more
Stay with meStay with me
You'd better hope and prayThat you make it safeBack to your own world
You'd better hope and prayThat you'll wake one dayIn your own world
'Cause when you sleep at nightThey don't hear your criesIn your own world
Only time will tellIf you can break the spellBack in your own world
Stay with meStay with me
Stay, stay with meStay, stay, stay, stay, stayStay with me

Music Monday: Fighters, in All Forms

I write a LOT of female characters. Some of them are strong from the get go (Em/Madelyne, Annie, Elys) and others have to come into their strength (Gin, Lucy). But one thing that both types have in common is that they have an opposite, a motivator, and that isn't always the antagonist. Tairn, for example, could sit back and blame Taeben for her woes but her motivator is herself, really. She is fighting against years of letting herself believe that she is inferior to her sister, Nel. That's what makes her a fighter...

Fighter

by Christina Aguilera

After all you put me through

You'd think I'd despise you

But in the end, I wanna thank you

'Cause you made me that much stronger

Well, I thought I knew you

Thinkin' that you were true

Guess I, I couldn't trust, called your bluff

Time is up 'cause I've had enough

You were there by my side

Always down for the ride

But your joy ride just came down in flames

'Cause your greed sold me out in shame

After all of the stealing and cheatin'

You probably think that I hold resentment for you

But uh-uh, oh no, you're wrong

'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do

I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through

So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

Makes me that much wiser

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

Makes me that much smarter

So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ohh

Never saw it coming

All of your backstabbing

Just so you could cash in on a good thing

Before I realized your game

I heard you're goin' 'round playin' the victim now

But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame

'Cause you dug your own grave

After all of the fights and the lies

Guess you're wanting to hold me

But that won't work anymore (no more, aha, it's over)

'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture

I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down

So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

It makes me that much wiser

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

Makes me that much smarter

So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew

Turn out to be unjust, so cruel?

Could only see the good in you

Pretended not to see the truth

You tried to hide your lies

Disguise yourself through living in denial

But in the end you'll see, you won't stop me

I am a fighter and I (I'm a fighter)

I ain't gon' stop (I ain't gonna stop)

There is no turning back

I've had enough

Makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder (oh)

It makes me that much wiser (oh yeah, oh yeah)

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster (yeah)

Made my skin a little bit thicker (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Makes me that much smarter (yeah)

So thanks for making me a fighter (Fighter)

You thought I would forget but I, I remembered (ooh-ooh-ooh)

'Cause I remembered (ooh-ooh-ooh)

I remembered

You thought I would forget (ooh-ooh)

I remembered (ooh-ooh)

'Cause I remembered (ooh)

I remembered

Makes me that much stronger (ooh-ooh)

Makes me work a little bit harder (ooh-ooh)

It makes me that much wiser

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

Makes me that much smarter

So thanks for making me a fighter

Music Monday: Bringing the...Hell?

So, in another Tiktok introduction, I bring you this song that follows the folk song tradition in that there is a story within its three and half minutes...but I came up with at least two more as I listened. This kind of music is what writers like me (pantsers) listen to when we need inspiration...or we just want to stare at a blank screen and pretend that we know what we are doing.

Hell's Comin' With Meby Poor Mans Poison
They all laughed as he turned around slowThey said you ain't welcome 'round here anymoreYou just might as well go
He wiped the blood from his face as he slowly came to his kneesHe said, I'll be back when you least expect itAnd hell's coming with meHell's coming with me
There is a hill at the bottom of the valleyWhere all the poor souls go when they dieAnd if you listen real closeYou can hear em' like a ghostSaying you're never gonna make it out alive
There is a town at the bottom of that hillThey got a secret that they keep like a slaveThey got a black magic preacher (ooh)We'd do well to let him teach herYou'll be heading up that hill to the grave
And it is well, with my soulYou line your pockets full of money that you steal from the poorAnd on your way down to hell, you hear me ring that bellI'd pay the devil twice as much to keep your soul
There was a drifter passing through that little valleySee he had promised he was coming back to town (coming back to town)They didn't know him by his face, or by the gun around his waist (ooh)But he come back to burn that town to the ground
First there was fire, then there was smokeThen that preacher man was hangin' by a ropeThen they all fell to their knees and begged that drifterBegged him please, as he raised his fist before he spoke
I am the righteous hand of GodAnd I am the devil that you forgotAnd I told you one day you will seeThat I'll be back I guaranteeAnd that hell's coming, hell's comingHell, hell's coming with me
And it is well, with my soulYou line your pockets full of money that you steal from the poorAnd on your way down to hell, you hear me ring that bellAnd I said, hell's coming with me (hell's coming with me)

Music Monday: I'm Only Real...I Mean Human

I may have posted this one before, but it occurs to me how perfect it is for my current WIP for this month's Camp Nanowrimo. The discussion of who is human/real and who isn't is at the center of this second foray into Arcstone, and while it is on the second draft it still needs a lot of work. But...I'm only human...don't put the blame on me, hey?


Humanby Rag'n'Bone Man
Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blindThinking I can see through this and see what's behindGot no way to prove it so maybe I'm blind
But I'm only human after all, I'm only human after allDon't put your blame on me
Take a look in the mirror and what do you seeDo you see it clearer or are you deceived in what you believe
Cos I'm only human after all, you're only human after allDon't put the blame on meDon't put your blame on me
Some people got the real problemsSome people out of luckSome people think I can solve themLord heavens aboveI'm only human after all, I'm only human after allDon't put the blame on meDon't put the blame on me
Don't ask my opinion, don't ask me to lieThen beg for forgiveness for making you cry, making you cry
Cos I'm only human after all, I'm only human after allDon't put your blame on me, don't put the blame on me
Some people got the real problemsSome people out of luckSome people think I can solve themLord heavens aboveI'm only human after all, I'm only human after allDon't put the blame on meDon't put the blame on meI'm only human I make mistakesI'm only human that's all it takes to put the blame on meDon't put your blame on me
I'm no prophet or messiahShould go looking somewhere higher 
I'm only human after all, I'm only human after allDon't put the blame on me, don't put the blame on meI'm only human I do what I canI'm just a man, I do what I canDon't put the blame on meDon't put your blame on me

Three Years That Feel Like Three Minutes

Martha Ann McDonald
9 Aug 1932-21 July 2019

The first year was a blur. She had been declining for a little over a month, so when my sister called me to tell me that she had passed there was a feeling of relief. she wasn't suffering. She was with Daddy, finally, which I think is what she wanted most from the moment he left us in 2018.

Then there was the pandemic. It was easy to not let the grief take over in 2020 because I was so focused on this Big Bad Scary Thing that was taking over the news cycle and driving us into our homes, separated and safe. I often said during that year that while I missed her desperately I was glad, in a way, that she didn't have to experience this time. And while that was very true, there were many times when I felt desperately alone and just needed to hear her say "Hey, Nancy," on the other end of the phone.

I was ready for the pain in 2021, but the pandemic held on a little longer, so I could put a pin in all that awful for a little longer. But this year, 2022, it has hit me and now it's almost like it is happening all over again. 

I remember with visceral clarity how small her hand felt in mine as I sat by her bed at Emory. I remember thinking that my sister was a superhero because she had now walked alongside both of our parents through this last stage of life while I just flew in and out like a hummingbird, never landing long enough to let any of the pain seep into my soul.

My mother was a force of nature kept in check by a very strict southern American upbringing. She told us that the girls in her family (of which there were three) took care of things inside the home and her brothers (also three, and all older than their sisters) took care of things outside the home. My mother didn't know how to change a tire and was very uncomfortable writing a check. She was a product of the Great Depression that came of age in the 1950s. She "didn't get the whole hippie thing" during the 1960s and suddenly found her purpose, I think, in the 1970s when her daughters were born. I honestly think that in 1971 they stopped being Hoyt and Martha and became Nancy's mom and dad...and then in 1976, that purpose was cemented when they became Susan's mom and dad.

She had bachelor's and master's degrees from the University of Georgia in English, with a concentration in Elizabethan Literature. She knew a bit of French from having to fill in for a French teacher at one of the high schools that didn't have one. She was a teacher down to her very bones, and to be honest I'm not sure which age group was her favorite. I do know that she enjoyed teaching preschool at the churches where Daddy served.

She was always my biggest fan, and truth be told I was hers even though I didn't show it. Her relationship with my father was the best example of faithfulness and love I could have had growing up, and I know that I was luckier than most.

And now it has been three years, and I am still picking up the phone to call her when I have a good report selling books or a challenging interpreting assignment. I have been adrift for three years now, and that part doesn't feel like three minutes any more than it feels like it will get better.

For all of you that have lost someone either before or during the pandemic, I see you. I hold space for you. This is hard stuff, the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I remember sitting with my sister that Sunday afternoon when she died and asking her if we were orphans now.

I still don't know the answer to that, but I will never stop missing my mom.

 

Music Monday: 80s Throwback, Part 1

Confession time: I love Survivor. I mean, I love 80s music, don't get me wrong, but...their album Vital Signs by Survivor was a revelation for teenage me, and was Most Likely To Be Played At Every School Dance when I was in high school. I know it may come as a shock since I've NEVER EVER written romance into any of my books...but I'm hopeless in that category and these songs...just...

The video for I Can't Hold Back is 80s gold, complete with big hair, leather trousers, smoky dance sequences and, of course, well fitting blue jeans. The lyrics also resonated with me in terms of the current WIP, Camp Nano Take Two, which involves one of the most complicated couples I've ever written: Valentin and Henri. Have mercy. 

Valentin is very much like Taeben from my Orana Chronicles: a villain who is motivated by misplaced notions of love and control. Morally gray? Not so much. Morally deficient? Nope, not that either. Just men who were hurt by someone in their formative years with strange ideas of what love is.

Enjoy.

I Can't Hold Backby Survivor
There's a story in my eyesTurn the pages of desireNow it's time to trade those dreamsFor the rush of passion's fire
I can feel you tremble when we touchAnd I feel the hand of fateReaching out to both of us
I've been holding back the nightI've been searching for a clue from youI'm gonna try with all my mightTo make this story line come true
Can ya feel me tremble when we touch?Can you feel the hand of fate?Reaching out to both of usThis love affair can't wait
I can't hold back, I'm on the edge(I can't hold back)Your voice explodes inside my headI can't hold back, I won't back downGirl it's too late to turn back now
Another shooting star goes byAnd in the night the silence speaks to you and IAnd now the time has come at lastDon't let the moment run too fast
I can feel you tremble when we touchAnd I feel the hand of fateReaching out to both of us
There's a story in my eyesTurn the pages of desireNow it's time to trade those dreamsFor the rush of passion's fire
I can't hold back, I'm on the edge(I can't hold back)Your voice explodes inside my headI can't hold back, I won't back downGirl it's too late to turn back now
I can see you tremble when we touchOohh, and I feel the hand of fateReaching out to both of usThis love affair can't waitI can't hold back, I can't hold backI can't hold back, I can't hold back