In which I rant, and then make a promise...and hope for some happy.

Jumbled desk, clear head.

This has been spring break week where I work, which means the students are off enjoying sun and fun and whatever else you do when you need some time off from hard work.  I will be doing that very thing NEXT week on Thursday and Friday as I will be at Sandy Paws again...where my heart lives and my friends gather, where I was introduced to my Mei Mei for the first time and where I will present her story, An American Greyhound in Yorkshire, to those who know and love her almost as much as I do.

As a result of the students being away, my workload has been different this week, and I was looking forward to it being time when I could do some professional development because I just don't have the money to go to all the workshops and conferences that I would like to attend.  A lot of my self improvement comes from watching recorded workshops and talks given by the leaders in my field and especially by the Deaf Community members that if nothing else give me a chance to see good, clear, beautiful ASL.  Also, I thought I'd have a chance to catch up on some reading for the classes I caption because, as we should know, you can't caption or interpret what you don't understand...at least not in a way that is beneficial to your students.

Well.  It seems that sort of thing has become Not A Good Use Of My Time and equates to "You're not doing anything important."  Direct quote.  I can shrug that off.  I know that the person who said that doesn't really get what I do...no one that isn't an interpreter or captionist really does, truth be told.  Those of you Lettuce Readers that have ever worked as a staff interpreter anywhere can relate, I'm sure, to the raised eyebrows and suspicious looks you get when you say something needs a team of interpreters or that you've just returned from a difficult interpretation and you need a little down time to get your head back on straight.  I expect that sort of lack of understanding and for the most part have come to accept it as part of working for someone else.

What I don't accept is hearing from multiple co-workers that the same person I mentioned before is discussing with THEM how I'm not doing anything constructive and that I need to be given busy work.  I can't just ignore it, when I've also been told that I can't have my office anywhere other than in the main office because employees can't be trusted to do their work if they can't been seen face to face.  What?

I hope it won't come as a surprise to anyone that reads the Lettuce that the job I'm in now isn't what I want to be doing until I retire.  If for no other reason, I have no plans to retire in the United States.  We are here now because we need to be, but when that need is no longer we will leave and go back to somewhere we both feel more comfortable.  But also there is this tiny little person, this continuous, nagging voice that asks me what I'm doing here when I really want to be a writer.  I love interpreting, I love the Deaf Community and I love the language, but I also love writing and storytelling.  I want to make my living sitting in front of a computer and getting all those stories out of my head and into the hands of others.

A very good friend of mine has taken her first steps toward creating a photography business.  Another friend already owns her own interpreting business.  Why not me?  So here, right now in this blog (because once you write it on the tinter'webs you can't take it back), I'm promising you, the handful that read the Lettuce, that I'm going to do what I have to do starting now to make that dream a reality.  All the reasons why I shouldn't, like I'm waiting for Hubs to get a full time job or I'm waiting to pay down that credit card or I'm waiting to make sure that X, Y, and Z are handled...all those things are killing my happy, and I'm not going to keep doing that.  I'm going to climb out from under the bus I've been thrown under and make a go of this. I've said it here before but not followed through...but this is the year I follow through.  This is the year.  This is my happy, and I think that I deserve it.

Watch this space...