17 July 2006

I don't know what to say...

I've become an avid reader of My Beloved Monster & Me, which you will find linked here, in the title, and in my blogroll. I'm fascinated by mommy and daddy blogs and this one in particular as the author is quite talented and his family quite unique. But this post of mine has nothing to do with them, rather with a link I followed from his blog today.

There are apparently a few topics that are quite the hotbuttons among parents, and one of them is whether or not to spank one's children to discipline them. I admit fully that I have NO idea what it is like to be a mom, to live with children every day, etc etc etc but I can tell you with unwavering certainty that I will NEVER hit my children. Citizen Rob blogged about spanking (he is strongly against it and I applaud his candor and determination) and included a link to a horrifying site called Spanking with Love that I'm not even going to link here because I hope that no one who is a caregiver for a child would find it and think that ANY of it is okay. It is condoning abuse, pure and simple. It gives grown adults the idea that striking a child is okay, and I'm sorry, in my world it is not ever okay.

For example:
Prevention is the best method - that is bring children up from an early age to accept spankings as an integral part of life in a loving home.
This is a device used with great success by my husband to persuade his nephew to accept spankings from his mother: he told him that in order to earn the right to spank his own children when he had grown up he had to accept spankings now. My husband thinks this is such a brilliant idea that he wondered how he could patent it!
"Never slap a child in the face when nature has provided a better place." Only the child's bottom is well-padded enough to endure a spanking without injury.
The first spank is important
As an exception to the "building up" rule, the first spank should not be a weak one. It is too psychologically important. Start with a good first swat to get your child's full attention, then decrease.


Are you freaking kidding me? I am physically sick...please, if you read my blog and you spank your kid/kids, just don't comment. If this kind of fear inducing discipline is what works for you in your house, then that's your business, but you aren't going to change my mind that this is ever an acceptable thing to do.

9 comments:

AmyMB said...

This is definitely a hot-button issue, and one I completely agree with you on.
I was watching an episode of Supernanny a few weeks ago, and one of the parents (the dad) wanted his son to stop hitting his sister. So what did he do? He spanked his son. Anyone else see the irony of trying to stop hitting by...well...hitting?

Nan said...

Exactly. I saw something similar in a comment on Citzen Rob's blog, where a child was spanked, then hit a sibling. When asked why she hit the sibling, her answer was that the sibling had misbehaved.

eBeth said...

As a mother of a very strong willed child...... we save spanking for life or death matters. I've done it once because she rang out into the street. We do not, however, spank on a regular basis as I, too, agree that hitting only teaches hitting. Although, it is really hard sometimes - 3.5 is driving me nuts.

Nan said...

You know of course, Liz, that you're welcome to comment any time...my "just don't comment" was more directed at readers with children who would take aim at me with the "you have no idea because you don't have children" defense of spanking. As I said, if it is something that works in someone else's home, that is their business. I was spanked as a child, and while I love my parents I also grew up with what some would call "a healthy fear" of getting caught at doing something wrong...not necessarily a fear of doing something wrong. That make sense? I don't think my parents abused me and I don't have issues of fear or mistrust of them or any other authority figures, but I don't see that as being the route for me when I do have children.

Nan said...

Okay, wait a sec...can every one just take a moment and notice that AMY and I are in complete agreement on something?


Okay, you may resume breathing now. :)

And yes, I did just figure out how to add bolding to my comments, thank-you-very-much...

eBeth said...

I wasn't going to say anything - but I was surprised that you and Amy were in agreement! Let's talk politics so this nonsense can end! :) :) :)

Nan said...

(in her best Monica voice) I KNOW!

Said with all love, of course, Evilyn... *HUG*

AmyMB said...

lol, I noticed that too.
Scary!

K-Bear said...

I also grew up being spanked.

All it taught me was just not to get caught....

Heh.

But man, you would've thought I would learn not to talk back to teachers. *shudder*

#metoo

#nofilter #goodhairday Yep, that hashtag in the title means what you think it means. But that's not what I want to talk about today....