08 August 2005

Pulled Beef BBQ and Polka-Dotted Undies

I'm going to go ahead and apologize now to my dear brother in law, Dave, who is a regular reader of my blog, should this offend or just be more information than you EVER needed about your wife's older sister...

I was at Walmart today getting dinner for the canine masses, and decided to do a bit of grocery shopping for myself while I was there. After all, I couldn't very well go out to the car while it was still pouring down rain now could I? I wandered around in the food section and then took the inevitable right turn toward the clothes. Not that I was going to buy anything, mind you, but tomorrow is my mother's birthday and I can always use more of the essentials...socks and undies.

Holy SMOKES the clientele for the local Walmart must have crawled out from under a large Skank-Rock, as evidenced by the oh-so-scary pieces of clothing in the section where one buys one's unmentionables.

It's too bad that someone felt that stuff needed a mention.

Anyway, I went for my standard, old-lady-at-thirty-three type undies. You know, plain colors, all cotton, nothing that requires woolite and certainly nothing that has to be professionally cleaned. Well, the good folks at Hanes had the last laugh. In the back of the package was a "bonus pair:" white (this is good) with big blue and teal and green polka-dots (this is not so good).

But I had a good laugh over it anyway. For so many years I've tried to stay young. "Don't I look YOUNG for thirty?" "What do you mean you don't need to see my ID?" No more. With the impending new life comes a new love of me. Thirty Three Year Old Me. Several Stone Overweight Me. Currently Eating Smithfield Pulled Beef BBQ from the Deli Case At Walmart Me.

I don't know that I'll ever be Polka Dotted Undies Me, but we'll see.

5 comments:

Oh Cnap! said...

I completely second you re: wal mart skankifity. I've stopped being able to shop there for anything but t-shirts for fear that I'd be dressed awfully... and don't get me started on the underwear that's sized wrong! But I may as well admit my shame... I bought some of the polka dotted underwear!! It was cute at the time?? I don't know, I lost my mind...

Gracious Light said...

My eyes! My eyes!

∫ťǾŖŖmłệ said...

haha thats great! I've seen a lot of horrific things in The World of Sir Wally's clothes dept too. I even gave up and went for the boy cut short type undies. I'm finding those much more comfortable these days- especially with my expanding seat - not near as many wedgies. As far as other clothes i buy there- i barely leave the house so im pretty much in the dept of lounge clothes.

Amy said...

With all the life changes you are currently undergoing, a rogue pair of polka-dotted unmentionables should present no problems for you.
When you start wearing polka-dotted thongs, I'll throw you a party.

Nan said...

There is never ever ever a reason to wear a thong. Ever. Got it? Never. Not ever. No.

So no parties for me...but thank you.

Dia duit ó GARF.

Almost TOO Irish, that. Go raibh míle maith agat  to Chris Heffron (of the Southern Travel Guide ) for this great shot from last Sund...