Music Monday: Release the ..Florence?

Now, I love Florence + the Machine. Love. Adore. Will stop dead in my tracks if she comes on the radio or playlist. But this new one, Kraken, hit me right in the chest with the first line: "Sometimes my body seems so alien to me..."

Anyone that has had cancer treatment can relate, but I think when your treatment involves an amputation like a double mastectomy, it makes that feeling more vivid. My clothes don't fit like they did. I can't trust that I can put things away in a high cupboard or even do things like brush my teeth. My hair was growing back with luscious curls and then when I started on the next to the last phase, Verzenio, it became thin again. 

"...so when your hand reached out I just pushed it farther down..."

I've reached the point where I'm starting to be okay with me and I'm finding the tribe that buoyed me up during active treatment has gone back to their regular lives...and while that is okay, I mean if course it is, I do feel invisible. A lot. To the point that Florence saves me yet again:

"Do you see me now?"

Enjoy. 

On the most magical of dogs...🍀

[I sent a part of this essay to the program 1A on NPR this morning, but it had to be short. If you have met an Irish Wolfhound, you know that there is nothing short in that experience, so here is the rest.]

Bryn (L) and Ciaragh (R)

When I was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, my Irish Wolfhounds really saw me through it. This is my thank you to them...and don't worry, Willow-Pickle has her own story.

Ciaragh at GARF

Ciaragh (Keerah), my younger girl, was diagnosed with lymphoma shortly after I started chemo. At almost 7, she didn't make it through that battle, even though we were briefly on in the same chemo regimine, so when I rang that bell in Dec of 2023, I could feel her clobberpaws on my chest. You can see it in the video... It looks like I grabbed the rope and got knocked backwards a step or two. Our Cailín Ádh. We were the lucky ones, my Kiki-Bear.

Bryn after a successful heist at GARF

When I finished treatment in 2024, I didn't know it at the time but I was being given the time to focus on walking my 11.5 year old wolfhound Bryn home to the Bridge, as she deserved. Always there with her silly expression and snuggly nature, she made sure that I never gave up because someone had to feed her and give her treats when my husband was at work! Our Bryndled Beastie, who taught us so much about living with these giant, mythical dogs...and how to hide my snacks up HIGH.

Stanley, the Ken Doll of Irish Wolfhounds

And now that I'm navigating my new normal and new body, I have Stanley... He is a huge, gorgeous, blond boy who has learned to help me up off the floor and is just always there, carrying the souls of my two big girls in his beautiful caramel colored eyes. Our Bánbhuí Beastie...my sweet protector and buddy, here to lead me out of my sadness and into the backyard.

🍀

Go raibh míle maith agaibh, a mhadraí luachmhara. Is leatsa mo ghrá go léir.

🍀