Ohhh, I got a GOOD one today...

DISCLAIMER: I am still very much a Liberal. I am not poking fun at any country in this post, especially not "Zimababwe." I am poking fun at idiots that think they can get away with scams like this just by mispelling a few words...and at those unfortunates who fall for them. Just so we're clear...

Boy, this kid's gonna have a helluva time continuing his education with this level of grammar and spelling...I guess they don't teach that in Zimababwe?

From: "ovie2006" (ovie2006@terra.com.mx)
Good day
How are you today.
I am Ovie Onorode,19yrs old from Zimababwe .
I got your contact through a thorough seacrh from industries of trade and commerce.
In regards to my contacting you,i would want to entrust
the transfers of the sum of us$1.5milllion into your country,under your supervision.
I would also want you to help me invest on any profitable business that you would be able to help me handle while i continue my education in your country when i come over, as you would be my gaurdian that would take care of my investment and secure a good inetrnational standard school.
In your positive anticipation to my mail,i would furnish you on every
information that would be necessary on how i would get the fund to you before i come over to your country.
I have accredited 10% out of the total fund for your assistance and your trust,bcos this fund is the only hope i have in life which i inherited from my late parents.My late father was a white farmer in Zimbabwe before he died,he was accused of treason and trying to over throw the president of mugabe,so all his asses,inlcluding land farms and bank account where siezed,you can comfirm most of this story on:www.zimbabwesituation.com/ aug9_2001.html
but he manage to secure this fund in a security company,b4 his death i was made the beneficiary to the consignment.
so i hope i can trust you with this.
Relpy soon.
Onorode.

Wow. I'd hate to have the government sieze [sic] my asses. Seriously. I'm lonely sometimes, granted, but...

New Wallpaper for the Week

"Hey, Mommy, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, let's hit a happy hour!!"

Wherein I Refer You to Older Lettuce

Some other discussions I've had about my job, since that's apparently where my head is today...

More Lessons Learned

How Not to Use an Interpreter, by G.W. Bush

Things I've Learned (blogging after a really tough assignment)

Revelations in Green...Day

The Truth Needs No Translation...?

I had an interesting experience last night. I had a headache so I skipped my normal Friday night's Everquesting and watched a movie instead. Some time back I had bought "The Interpreter" on DVD because my boss had recommended it to me, but I hadn't even gotten around to taking it out of the shrink wrap until last night.

If you are a doctor or a lawyer or even a mental health professional or a teacher, you can find movies that are written about your profession. It is very rare that I find movies about my profession unless they are mainly about Deaf characters with interpreters as necessary evils, thrown into police stations or at the moment that the Deaf protagonist stands up to his or her hearing oppressors and gives a speech. I found myself identifying with Nicole Kidman's character in her professional role but on a different level than I do with the interpreters in the movies I just described.

I got into my field because I love languages, not because I have Deaf family members or because I have this burning desire to HELP. (Heh, I got into mental health because of the desire to HELP! Just kidding...sorta...) I have always found it fascinating to watch spoken language interpreters work. One of the best interpreting jobs I ever had was to work with a Russian-English interpreter when a former leader of the Soviet Union came to speak at the University of Georgia...I was more interested in meeting his interpreter than him!!

Anyway, back to the movie...One of the things that struck me was her reaction when she overheard the people talking in the GA after hours. I know now that part of the reason she didn't tell anyone right away was her connection to the situation, but that wasn't revealed until much later in the movie. Without that knowledge, I saw someone struggling with the same kind of ethical decision that interpreters are faced with on a regular basis. I think it happens even more with signed language interpreters because there is NO whispering in a signed language...and our consumers trust that we are ethical and competent professionals and that we won't run tell things that we see communicated that were meant to be private.

However, I also applauded her coming forth the following morning to report what she'd heard, even though it was against her own personal and political convictions to do so. I have faced similar situations, obviously not of the same magnitude, but I know it is a very tough call to make and even tougher to follow through on to go against your training and expectations as an interpreter and report something that you "overheard."

All in all I would highly recommend the movie, and that's saying a lot because I don't care for crime dramas and political thrillers normally. But this one hit close to home... I only wish I'd seen it sooner.

One Year Ago Today

I have never in my life felt this much pain, and she's still here, she's still snoozing on the floor like nothing is any different than it was yesterday. Only it is...

Yesterday she was going to the bridge on Saturday. Yesterday I had time, even though I really didn't because I'll be at Mountain Hounds in Gatlinburg starting tomorrow. Yesterday it wasn't real.

Today it is real. She's going to the bridge tomorrow. I sit here and I look at her there and it HURTS. I feel so guilty, she has no idea what is going to happen. She is going to be so happy to go in the car with her Daddy tomorrow night.

I just feel sick. Yesterday it was a dull ache. Today there is no air.

I love you baby girl. Please forgive me, for not being there tomorrow night...for doing this to you...for not doing more for you...for selfishly wanting you to stay...how will I know I've overslept? How will I know that the A/C is on too high? How will I know it's time for doggie dinner?

What will I do at 4:30 on Monday, when no one barks?

What will I do without you?

For the first time...Click here to download "Lizzard's Got A Way." When I made this movie I kept it only for those closest to me that helped me through losing my old broad...but I want to share her with everyone now.

I love you, MamaDawg. Miss you. Awwooooof.

A Late Father's Day Thank You

Thank you, George Edwin Allen, for being a strong example of a family man and father, and being the role model for my own father.



Thank you, Albert Davie McDonald, for being the only grandfather I knew as a child, and raising your daughter to be a great mom.



Thank you is woefully inadequate for Hoyt Albion Allen, so I'll just say I love you, Daddy.

Go Daisy GO!!!

Daisy came in first place last night with a time of 31.12. This means she has "broken Maiden" and will move up to grade D!! I knew she had it in her, and I'm soooooo glad something finally clicked. Good job, babygirl. Keep it up!!

My inner sagittarian is intrigued...

Horoscopes For Today: 6/17/2006
Any discouraging signs you've been seeing lately shouldn't get you down -- the road you're on has quite a few twists and turns, and you need to be ready to take them as they come. Things are way better than you think right now, so what's with this cloud of gloom and doom? Flush it out with a healthy dose of good humor and you can get back on track with a brighter attitude. You are much closer to your goal than you realize, so keep on going.

Confessions and Phone Conversations

Several of you that read the Lettuce have emailed me to ask what I mean when I mention the "Alabama Job." Being the superstitious sot I am, I was trying not to jinx it like I think I did the job in Decatur last year...not that I wasn't offered the Decatur job but that when I was everything else sorta fell through. Well...I'm trying to convince myself that we make our own luck, so here's the confession. I've applied for an interpreter job with the Alabama Dept. of Mental Health. SCDMH was great to raise my salary last year to keep me here, but they have raised it as far as they can without re-classifying me...and I just feel that I really NEED to get out of South Carolina.

Okay, all that aside, on to the phone conversation, which I'm afraid is a harbinger of things to come as far as my moving goes (if I get the job). Kinda reminds me of where I was this time LAST year...

Nice Lady at Apartment Complex in Montgomery: Good afternoon, X apartments, can I help you?
Me: Yes, I'm Nancy Lassiter and I'm calling about your X apartment that I saw advertised on X.com?
Nice Lady at Apartment Complex in Montgomery: Sure, what can I tell you about it?
Me: Well, it says that you allow pets and that you allow large dogs, and I was wondering if you have a weight, breed, or other...
Nice Lady at Apartment Complex in Montgomery: We have breed restrictions for large dogs, yes ma'am. What kind of dog do you have?
Me: A greyhound, I'm sure that's not on the...
Nice Lady at Apartment Complex in Montgomery: Oh no ma'am, they aren't on the list from our insurance company. Greyhounds are not aggressive dogs like the ones on the list.
Me: Well, no, they aren't. So is there a fee for...
Nice Lady at Apartment Complex in Montgomery: Yes ma'am we allow two pets and the fee is $500/per pet. When would you be looking to move in?
Me: Well, I have more than two greyhounds.
Nice Lady at Apartment Complex in Montgomery: Oh, okay, well thank you for calling. (click)

Why don't they just put that on their website and save all of us a lot of time and trouble? 2 pet limit, $500 fee per pet. Not difficult.

From a posting made by my friend Mary:

this is the kind of person I am...
and have always been. Loving dogs is easy, they are part of me.
Please accept me for who I am.
My dogs appreciate my presence in their lives...

Lordy, I didn't even get to the cats...

A Nighttime Days Funny

Thanks to Dustin's Days Page, linked in the title above...

5. RETURN FROM THE DEAD…you or some member of your family has returned from the dead at least once. There have been at least 2 funerals or memorial services in your honor. You die, and come back, then you die again, then come back, then die, then come back as yourself, but you look like Chris Kositcheck, and nobody notices the change.

If you watch Days of Our Lives, you'll know why that's funny. If you don't...you should.

Apparently I'm not the only one...

The Reverend Susan Rebecca Allen Grady

I HATE it when things don't work like they're supposed to...

Jeany's representation of my mood after trying for an HOUR to get into Blogger to answer a comment...let alone post! UGH!

A bit of fun, stolen from Mary's LJ

1. Pick 25 of your favourite movies.
2. Then pick one of your favorite quote/s from each movie.
3. Post the quotes in your journal(or in my case, blog).
4. Have those on your friends list try to guess what the movie is (or just post it in comments).

1. "Do you know what an older woman does for me?" "Changes your diapers?"
2. "I know this is detention, but I don't think I belong in HERE."
3. "You could just hang with me and my dudes, and just be you." "Sounds major."
4. "Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em!!"
5. "Why did you have to be so wonderful?" (that one's for mah Thug)
6. "I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."
7. "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tommorrow."
8. "Oh, double doo-doo! One of my diamonds just fell in the macaroni!"
9. "That's it, the nose goes. Bandstand, here I come!" (that one's for Sooz)
10. "We made a deal when I was seven and a half and night life was The Muppet Show!"
11. "He's gonna be a fry cook at Venus!"
12. "Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!"
13. "Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
14. "Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products."
15. "I'm afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments."
16. "My darling girl, when are you going to understand that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!"
17. "You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know." "Yeah I know. But then you know there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine."
18. "The story its happening to us now. We're living it. It's alive, its real, its breathing. And we could give it a happy ending."
19. "Uhhh... were you robbed?" "Funny really, yes, but at the same time a huge resounding no. It's more of an... involuntary vow of poverty... really."
20. "Cindy, this is a skeleton, this is bones! Would you run from Callista Flockheart?"
21. "Uh, is there a little girl's room in the hall?" "Oui oui, Madame." "No, I just have to powder my nose."
22. "What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound." "You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant."
23. "Are you happy now, Clark? She's dead!"
24. "Wow dad, we must have gone like 50 yards." "Nothing to be proud of Russ..." "... 50 yards..."
25. "Now you take that diaper off your head and you put it back on your sister!"

What Dreams I Can Do Without

Slight insomnia again last night. I stayed up WAY too late on the computer, and when I got into bed I read a little bit to ease me out of the world of fighting computer monsters and into sleep. I was rewarded for my late bedtime with an awful anxiety dream.

I was back in college and apparently had learned to sing as I had taken the lead role in The Fantasticks. My former theatre professor was still the director at the theatre, but I believe the building we were in was the Classic Center in Athens, GA. I'm sure that it was in Athens. Anyway...in typical anxiety dream fashion I had not learned any of my lines and had been away at home for a week, presumably for spring break. My mother was with me coming back to school, and I remember saying to her that she needed to go into the theatre with me when I told the director I was back because if my mother was there the director couldn't possibly get THAT mad at me.

Somehow Mom agreed and we walked toward the theatre. I saw others that I knew were in the cast going in dressed in costumes that, in my waking mind, were wrong for that play...not to mention the fact that there were too many of them...and I chatted with one guy as we were headed in the door. He wanted to know why I was there, because since I'd been skipping rehearsals I'd been demoted to understudy. I was shocked and said I'd been gone all week, had they had rehearsals? He just shook his head and went inside.

After that the dream was just flashes of being onstage, being REAMED for not knowing my lines, running about backstage, etc. The interesting and not-so-horrifying thing about the backstage part is that I could SEE the backstage area of the Maryville College theatre...I could smell it...that was, fortunately, the most realistic part of my dream. But at the same time, it would change to a backstage I didn't recognize, and that would suddenly horrify me that not only was I unprepared for my role...I didn't know where I was.

Wonder if I'm worried about Alabama?