Music Monday: Of Moons and Bouncing

 I'm back from hiatus/surgery! Thanks again to my two guest hosts, Tony and Shannon, for those amazing posts/song recommendations. Y'all rock. These two weeks have flown by without a lot of writing time, sadly, so no real inspiration to share, there. However...

I know that I have used "Little Hercules" by Craig Carothers for a Music Monday before, and it was through that song that I found this one. This song to me is nights in the North Georgia mountains, working at summer camp, the smell of campfires and my deliciously talented friends with guitars and listening to it is like a warm hug. Enjoy.

Bounce It Off the Moonby Craig Carothers
I always come out here at nightWhen I can't think inside my roomAnd everything will be all rightAfter I bounce it off the moon
I tried to tell you on my ownBut every time it falls to ruinBecause I'm no good at this aloneI have to bounce it off the moon
I look for the wordsThat tell you I love youWith no moon above youbut they won't come
So I sit quiet in the darkI count the shadows in my roomAnd I will memorize my chordsAfter I bounce it off the moon
Tonight the sky is cold and blackYou need to know that love is trueI wish I were just holding backAnd not depending on the moon
I dream of the dayWhen I'll win you overBut over and overNo, it won't come
So I sit quiet in the darkI know that change is coming soonI find the language of the heartAfter I bounce it off the moon

Guest Post/Music Monday: Shannon Bridwell (poet and novelist)

Photo courtesy Redhouse Photography

[This week's guest host for Music Monday is a friend of mine who is a writer, a teacher, a phenomenal dancer, and shares my love for all things canine and D&D. Shannon is a jack of all trades and a master of most anything if she puts her mind to it.]

Hello everyone! My name is Shannon. When my friend Nancy asked me if I wanted to do a guest post for Music Monday I jumped at the chance. Music is poetry set to words and has the power to move people in incredible ways, from the goofy nonsensical songs that bring a smile to the deep, powerful songs that touch the soul. As a dancer, music is an integral part of my art and my life. When Nancy asked, I had one immediate song pop into my head. The past few years have been incredibly difficult for many of us and whenever the struggles and burdens got too heavy, I would remind myself that “we can get better, because we’re not dead yet.”.  It’s a simple phrase, but it means so much more. We can get better and heal our minds, bodies, and souls. We can get better and improve ourselves. We can get better and forge a new path and take chances. Life is filled with darkness, and we can get better and reach for the light. So, I leave you with a song that touches my soul in its simple message. As Frank encourages us, try and get better and don’t ever accept less. We have this one life to live, and we deserve to make it our own stories.  (Lyrics in video.)

Guest Post/Music Monday: Tony Daniel (author of Return to Sender: from the Files of Pyramid Investigations)

photo courtesy Tony Daniel

[Your first guest host is a dear friend and one of my "big brothers," Tony Daniel. We crossed paths plenty, I'm sure, at our alma mater, YHC, but only got to know each other once we figured out we were both writers. Check out his debut novel here.]

When I think about music, I think about the power of the songwriter. Their ability to bring you into their world, their vision, their ability to tell a story. A great song will capture your brain for a moment and just transport you into a place where everything else vanishes for a moment, and you find yourself living in the song, an observer, seeing everything, taking it all in. For me, Nanci Griffith did this with her beautiful song " Love at the Five and Dime." It's a very simple song, nothing fancy or intricate, yet it sends me into a sublime comfort zone of the true art of storytelling. Close your eyes and listen. You can hear the distinct "ping" of the elevator doors in this magical store Griffith sings about, hidden in the rhythms of the song. You can see every detail described in the lyrics. And the blend of voices, hers, and Darius Rucker's, mix perfectly. Enjoy, people... 

Love at the Five and Dimeby Nanci Griffith and ft Darius Rucker
Rita was sixteen years, hazel eyes and chestnut hairShe made the Woolworth counter shineAnd Eddie was a sweet romancer, and a darn good dancerAnd they'd waltz the aisles of the five and dime
And they'd singDance a little closer to me, dance a little closer nowDance a little closer tonightDance a little closer to me, 'cause it's closing timeAnd love's on sale tonight at this five and dime
Eddie played the steel guitarAnd his mama cried 'cause he played in the barsAnd kept young Rita out late at nightSo they married up in Abilene, lost a child in TennesseeStill that love survived
'Cause they'd singDance a little closer to me, dance a little closer nowDance a little closer tonightDance a little closer to me, 'cause it's closing timeAnd love's on sale tonight at this five and dime
One of the boys in Eddie's band took a shine to Rita's handsSo Eddie ran off with the bass man's wifeOh, but he was back by June, singin' a different tuneAnd sportin' miss Rita back by his side
And he sangDance a little closer to me, dance a little closer nowDance a little closer tonightDance a little closer to me, 'cause it's closing timeAnd love's on sale tonight at this five and dime
Eddie traveled with the barroom bands'Til arthritis took his handsNow he sells insurance on the sideRita's got a house to keepDimestore novels and a love so sweetThey dance to the radio late at night
And they singDance a little closer to me, dance a little closer nowDance a little closer tonightDance a little closer to me, 'cause it's closing timeAnd love's on sale tonight at this five and dime
'Cause Rita was sixteen years, with hazel eyes and chestnut hairShe really made the Woolworth counter shineEddie was a sweet romancer, and a darn good dancerAnd they'd waltz the aisles of the five and dimeAnd they'd waltz the aisles of the five and dimeAnd they'd waltz the aisles of the five and dime

My 2023 was a blur...

From one Annus Horribilis into another...?

So as I was looking for something in my blog, I came across my New Year's Eve wrap up from 2010 and I thought I'd just share this bit before launching into the same for today:

June wasn't hot, but it wasn't freezing anymore either, which was quite nice. I'm going to include July here as well, because there was one event that absolutely stole focus for all of us for the entire month. I found a lump in one of my breasts. I survived having what turned out to be a cyst drained, as well as a needle-core biopsy (google that if you want to be scared out of your mind) that showed absolutely nothing. Mind you, I'd planned my funeral in the six weeks from finding the pitch invader to the results of the biopsy, and I've never been so glad to hear a doctor say he recommended that I not come back to him again.

Yeah, so I think that was the bit of tissue that became Eugene, my breast cancer tumor. I have the gene mutation that won't stop cells from growing out of control, which is how Eugene came to be. But I think it is interesting that I thought THAT was awful. I've done so much more awful since then. 

So, January - June were pretty much status quo around here. I sold books and met wonderful people at the Atlanta Steampunk Expo and the Georgia Renaissance Festival and put in applications/made plans for many other events in the months to follow.

In June, I decided to be a grown up and finally get signed on with a new GYN since my insurance had changed who was in my providers list and I'd passed the 50 years old mark. I also attended ConCarolinas for the fourth time including the virtual weirdness that was 2020.

In July, I was diagnosed with Stage III-B breast cancer that had not spread beyond the tumor itself and some lymph nodes just behind it. I named it Eugene and started a long line of medical appointments as well as attended ConGregate 9 - which was far and away more fun. I started chemo on 31 July.

In August I continued chemo, started awful shots that jacked up my immune system, and waved goodbye to my hair. I will say, though, that experience wasn't as bad as others have experienced and I was expecting...but I'm glad it's over. 

In September, I continued chemo and changed from The Red Devil cocktail every two weeks to a lighter weight poison called Taxol that was administered weekly. I waved a one-fingered salute at those immune system shots with the switch. I also attended the Upstate Renaissance Faire as a vendor for the first time, since the 2022 faire was a monsoon and my tent tried to pull a Poppins so we had to pack up and head home. I met some really great folks and sold more books than I had at any event to date so...good times, if not a little hot.

In October, I continued chemo and attended Multiverse for the first time with two magnificent human sherpas and one canine salesman extraordinaire. A new show is always nerve wracking, and after a rough start (I showed up THIRTY MINUTES late for a panel that I was on...), it was an amazing time.

In November, I attended the Geekery Market in Concord, NC, for the first time. That one was so much fun - again with two amazing sherpas to help me - and I am so excited for the next one. I should have been selling/signing/meeting/greeting at CRF again, but that event has changed to something that doesn't work for out-of-town authors. I also continued chemo and got to have it ON MY BIRTHDAY, but that wasn't so bad - does everyone have an oncologist who lip-syncs to Stevie Wonder and dances in the middle of the infusion suite? No? 

In December, I finished chemo and rang the life out of that bell...for me and for our Ciaragh, who lost her fight with lymphoma. I celebrated Christmas, sort of, and watched SO MUCH AMERICAN FOOTBALL. 

So... what's next? Surgery in late January, possible radiation in February, and hopefully the grand return of my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes. Then the reconstruction process continues, per "plastics" as the cancer center calls my reconstruction surgeon, in late summer/early fall and I am DONE. Dunne and Done. I promise there won't be too many posts like this because it's all kinds of TMI but fingers crossed that a year from now I have loads more fun stuff to report!

Music Monday: Starting as I mean to go on...

First Music Monday, just a week late! This song fell into my lap, as many by Florence + the Machine do, and immediately spoke to me in the voice of a character in my current WIP who has been irritatingly silent up to now. This is a very personal song that takes a Bible story and turns it upside down with Delilah betrayed by Samson this time. Perfect, since my MC has a relationship from her past that mimics that gender-bent retelling...and y'all do not KNOW how hard I'm avoiding spoilers here! Enjoy...it comes complete with the angelic voice of Florence Welch.

Delilah

by Florence Leontine Mary Welch, Isabella Janet Florentina Summers

Drifting through the halls with the sunrise

(Holding on for your call)

Climbing up the walls for that flashing light

(I can never let go)

'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine

(Holding on for your call)

'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine

(Maybe not tonight)

Now the sun is up and I'm going blind

(Holding on for your call)

Another drink just to pass the time

(I can never say no)

'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine

(Holding on for your call)

'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine

(Maybe not tonight)

It's a different kind of danger

And the bells are ringing out

And I'm calling for my mother

As I pull the pillars down

It's a different kind of danger

And my feet are spinning around

Never knew I was a dancer

'Til Delilah showed me how

Too fast for freedom

Sometimes it all falls down

These chains never leave me

I keep dragging them around

Now I'm dancing with Delilah and her vision is mine

(Holding on for your call)

A different kind of danger in the daylight

(I can never let go)

Took anything to cut you, I can find

(Holding on for your call)

A different kind of a danger in the daylight

(Can't you let me know?)

Now it's one more boy and it's one more lie

(Holding on for your call)

Taking the pills just to pass the time

(I can never say no)

'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine

(Holding on for your call)

'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine

(Maybe not tonight)

It's a different kind of danger

And the bells are ringing out

And I'm calling for my mother

As I pull the pillars down

It's a different kind of danger

And my feet are spinning around

Never knew I was a dancer

'Til Delilah showed me how

Now I'm dancing with Delilah and her vision is mine

(Holding on for your call)

A different kind of danger in the daylight

(I can never let go)

Took anything to cut you, I can find

(Holding on for your call)

A different kind of a danger in the daylight

(Can't you let me know?)

Strung up, strung out for your love

Hang in, hung up, it's so rough

I'm wrung and ringing out

Why can't you let me know?

Strung up, strung out for your love

Hang in, hung up, it's so rough

I'm wrung and ringing out

Why can't you let me know?

It's a different kind of danger

And the bells are ringing out

And I'm calling for my mother

As I pull the pillars down

It's a different kind of danger

And my feet are spinning around

Never knew I was a dancer

'Til Delilah showed me how

It's a different kind of danger

And the bells are ringing out

And I'm calling for my mother

As I pull the pillars down

It's a different kind of danger

And my feet are spinning around

Never knew I was a dancer

'Til Delilah showed me how

Too fast for freedom

Sometimes it all falls down

These chains never leave me

I keep dragging them around

Too fast for freedom

Sometimes it all falls down

These chains never leave me

I keep dragging them around

January 2024 Newsletter

Here we are at the start of a New Year, and my one resolution is to do better at this newsletter thing. Let's begin with a bit of a catch-up, shall we?

The second half of last year was filled with medial issues that I'm pleased to say are about 85% behind me...at least for now. There are two-three more hurdles to clear and I should be back to my normal level of chaos...and I am looking forward to that!

I'm still working on final edits on Hero, struggling through writing on the collab (that I still can't talk too much about), and re-discovering two YA novels that I found buried in my Nanowrimo folder. More on those later - I'd like to have them out by the end of 2024 but I'd also like to be able to fly and to speak all the languages and...and...and...

Old Lady Kaylee Frye sells books
at ConCarolinas

On to appearances/shows/signings in 2024: Those last hurdles I mentioned will keep me from being at ConPossible in February, but I have lined up two trusty sherpas to man my table with signed copies of my books. This is the Con formerly known as the Atlanta Steampunk Expo and I'm just gutted not to be able to be there this time - these folks are so nice and so welcoming!

Hopefully I will be able to attend the Dahlonega Literary Festival in March, but there will be more on that as January and February roll along. This will be a new event for me, so fingers crossed there.

I'm still discussing logistics with the Georgia Renaissance Festival for an author event there, so watch this space for more information. I'm hoping it will be scheduled before Georgia turns into the surface of the sun, but I grew up there so I know it could be hot there right now. 

Once I have heard from more events and shows I will add to this list. I'm hoping for a return to ConCarolinas and ConGregate. Again, watch this space.

Finally, I could not do any of this without you, especially now, and I so appreciate all of your support. Remember, if you want to help an author, one of the best ways is to leave a review - it helps other folks find my work and it gives me very important feedback that can only make future novels better.

Thanks y'all! Happy New Year!

Have Yourself a Merry Music Monday

I hope that all of you that read the Lettuce have a wonderful holiday. I will be back with more Music Mondays and other ramblings after New Year. Please be safe, keep your loved ones close, and if you pray, pray for peace. Our world needs it...a million dreams worth.

Music Monday: A Wink from my Dad

In case you were wondering, I've gone to Whamhalla. I lost on Saturday at the end of a Newcastle United game, when the person running the tannoy decided to play "Last Christmas" in the stadium and for once, Peacock didn't shut off access to the program early. Ah well, if I have to go out coasting on a 3-0 win for my Magpies, that's okay.

I thought about putting up Last Christmas as this week's Music Monday, but that would be Mary Jane levels of Petty and I'm just not there...yet. Instead, I want to share a story I shared on social media yesterday about what I've started calling "winks" from the universe. These have happened at important times during my chemo treatment, and I imagine that they will continue through the rest of this journey:

Got a wink from my Daddy when I sat down to rest and "She's Got a Way" by Billy Joel came on? ✅️He told me once that this song was on the radio in the car when he got pulled over for speeding on the way to the hospital because I was being born. Apparently they went early, Mom stayed and he went back to get things, and I guess was flying back to the hospital in his Corvair. So it was "my" song from then on.

I looked it up and while that song did indeed debut in November of 1971 like I did, I doubt he would have remembered what was on the radio that day. But he heard it a lot when I was new, and that might have made it my song too. My Daddy was magic like that.

Music Monday: Before you go...

Hey, so I'm still safe from Whamaggedon as of this morning. You? I'm also up to my ears in Getting Things Done for the DayJob™ so I'm going to leave you with this pretty little song that speaks to me of my current WIP (not to be confused with the Orana novel Edit In Progress that is sadly ongoing) and of the two MCs that seem to orbit each other at the moment without being physically together. Cryptic enough? I'm also coming off a very happy Critmas celebration with my DnD group yesterday, followed by trees taking out my power for a few hours so...normal levels of insanity around here. Lewis Capaldi, do your magic! (Lyrics in video.)

Music Monday: Just Say No to Whamageddon...

Don't worry, I'm not one of those players who will send you to Whamhalla on purpose, just because I can. Because I can't. Not from here anyway.

Not familiar with Whamageddon? In a nutshell, it is a game that is played from 1-24 December (the end of the day on the 24th). Kind of like a live-action advent calendar, if you will, but with no chocolates or tiny bottles of liquor. For more information and the rules, you can visit Whamageddon here. It's very competitive among those that play - and those that don't. For instance, my office mate (back in the before times, when we were all going to the office every day) didn't play but knew what it was, so when we were all gathered in our lobby for a holiday lunch and playing holiday music on someone's phone, she suddenly shouted at me, "Nancy, RUN!" So I did. No questions asked, I just ran. Turned out that the original "Last Christmas" had come on someone's phone.

So I'm going to give you some Christmas music this month that won't make you run, hopefully. Well, this first one might, but only if you're a soft chuff who forgot the chip pan on the hob. This song was in the running for Christmas Number One in the UK a few years back and is a good warning for what not to do after those late-night holiday do stumbles home.

Chip Pan

by Everly Pregnant Brothers

It were half past eleven,

I got in from t’pub,

I were feelin’ hungry,

Feelin’ hungry. 

In went into t’kitchen,

To cook up some grub.

I went and forgot it,

Like a soft chuff.

Ohhhh! Me chip pan’s on fire.

Should’ve had a pizza,

Or had a kebab.

I couldn’t be bothered.

I thought I were clever.

Now me ‘ouse is on fire,

And I’m out in t’street,

I’m in me pyjamas.

In pyjamas.

Ohhhh! Me chip pan’s on fire.

Noooo! Me chip pan’s on fire.

So if it’s half past eleven,

And you get in from t’pub.

You’re feelin’ ‘ungry,

A little peckish.

And you get into t’kitchen,

To cook up some grub.

Don’t go and forget it,

Like I did.

Noooo! Me chip pan’s on fire.

Noooo! Me chip pan’s on fire.

Noooo! Me chip pan’s on fire.

Noooo! Me chip pan’s on fire.

Dial 999.

Emergency. Which service do you require?

Music Monday: Thanksgiving Leftovers for Birthday Dinner

The title is part of a joke that used to go around my house on my birthday, which sometimes fell on actual American Thanksgiving Day. "What do you want for your birthday meal, Nancy? Ah, well, we're having turkey." I should have made the switch to vegetarian sooner.

Also, I guess, it's my birthday. Hooray. I mean, it is my birthday, but things like baldness and chemo have stolen some of today's joy. But not my niece, Joy. She is still pretty dang awesome.

Anyway!

Last night, as I was driving back from having a late lunch/early dinner with my sister and her family to celebrate my birthday, I got stuck in traffic. I mean, GENIUS move, traveling anywhere further than the postbox on the Sunday after a holiday, but it is what it is. This was 4mph for many miles of traffic, the kind where you think you've made progress only to find it took almost an hour to go 15 miles - and you have less than a quarter of a tank of gas. But as I sat there on the highway surrounded by trucks, I heard this song and knew it was today's Music Monday.

It speaks to a current WIP that will get more attention after Nano is over. Picture two vampires, whose long lives keep intersecting due to a shared destiny, sitting in comfy chairs by a fire sharing a nice bottle of red wine and telling stories about their time apart from each other - when they suddenly realize WHY they keep finding each other. That's what kept me from losing my mind in the car...Connor and Lark, I'm coming for you soon - get ready!

Fix Youby Coldplay, Cody Fry
When you try your best, but you don't succeedWhen you get what you want, but not what you needWhen you feel so tired, but you can't sleepStuck in reverseWhen the tears come streaming down your faceWhen you lose something you can't replaceWhen you love someone, but it goes to wasteCould it be worse?Lights will guide you homeAnd ignite your bonesAnd I will try to fix youTo fix youHigh up above or down belowWhen you're too in love to let it goBut if you never try, you'll never knowJust what you're worthLights will guide you homeAnd ignite your bonesAnd I will try to fix youTears stream down your faceWhen you lose something you cannot replaceTears stream down your face, and ITears stream down your faceI promise you I will learn from my mistakesTears stream down your face, and ILights will guide you homeAnd ignite your bonesI will try to fix you

Music Monday: There's an Uprising

Another Saturday spent playing Dungeons and Dragons. My teenage heart is happy. The word for the day is... SHILLELAGH! ✊

(Original by Muse - Cover by Damned Anthem, lyrics included in the cover are below:)

They will not force us

They will stop degrading us

They will not control us

We will be victorious

They will not force us

They will stop degrading us

They will not control us

We will be victorious

They will not control us

We will be victorious

Victorious

Music Monday: One Big Wolfhound Love

Ciaragh is still on my mind - last night I went to shut the basement door after Bryn and Willow came inside and I swear, I could feel her out there on the patio, lying on the cool tiles and looking up at me like, "five more minutes, please?" I don't regret the decision we made, but I do so miss her - our Ciaragh had one big love for all of her humans and pack mates. So this is for her...and for me. Lest I forget...

One Big Love

by Patty Griffin

Let's take a ride to the seaside

We can go out swimming in the high tide

Just wear your shorts and your long hair

Don't forget the lawn chair

Everybody's gone to the movies

Everybody's gone and its groovy

They went to the one about the big war

I didn't, I'd seen it before

I guess I'm taking my chances

Giving up the ring throwing in the gloves

I guess I'm taking my chances

Trading in my things

A couple wings on a little white dove

And one big love, one big love

Everybody do like a Monkey

If you want to go on and be funky

No need to talk like a hero

Talk a walk count down to zero

No sense defending your honor

Just go on and kiss him if you wanna

Everything before is gone or is going somewhere

I guess I'm taking my chances

Giving up the ring throwing in the gloves

I guess I'm taking my chances

Trading in my things for a couple wings on a

Little white dove

And one big love one big love

I don't know where we are

And I don't care

And now we're out of gas

And riding on air

And one big love, one big love

Stages of Love

I'm going to talk about grief today, and not just because we just lost that gorgeous face there yesterday afternoon to a very aggressive lymphoma. 

It's been a wild ride, these past few years. We lost my father in 2018, my mother in 2019, the world from 2020 to 2022, and now I've lost my youngest wolfhound, my Ciaragh. So much loss. So much hurt. How do we keep going?

Grief is funny. Not funny ha-ha or funny hmmm, but funny insidious and cantankerous and never, ever satisfied. I've heard all the little adages about grief being love you have that you can't give anymore because the object has passed...love that builds up to where it spills out your eyes and down your cheeks... And while those are valid, they don't strike home as much as grief being the flip side of gratitude or maybe even just a level of gratitude.

If I wasn't grateful that I was Hoyt and Martha's daughter, I wouldn't have noticed that they passed out of my mortal life. They wouldn't still be a part of near daily conversation. I wouldn't have thought of them when I saw a cardinal in a tree looking at me as we arrived back home without our Ciaragh.

If I wasn't grateful for the friends I have, the life I had before, the interactions and bus rides to campus and all the thousands of little things that made my life my own prior to 2020, I wouldn't have grieved the loss of the same for going on three years now. I'm an introvert and the pandemic lockdowns and social distancing should have been my time to shine -- and it was, to some extent -- but it was also painfully lonely in other ways. 

If I wasn't grateful that my dear friend Heather rang us to see if we could foster a 14-month-old Irish Wolfhound who needed re-homing through no fault of her own, I wouldn't be missing the wide-eyed, fuzzy head in that photo.

I've said a few times over the past 24 hours that this is just part of having a dog in your life, and it is even more so when the dog is a giant breed with a short life span. But it's more than that. It's learning to open your heart again and again, even though it is only cobbled together from past hurts. As another friend said, it is learning to "hold them with open hands" because you know what is coming.

It is tempting to close off to everything -- friends, experiences, love, laughter -- but that isn't the right choice. If you don't love, you don't grieve. It's the love and the gratitude that makes the pain worth it.

If you are in that dark place with all the grief, I am with you. When you can, turn some of the pain to gratitude. It will help, I promise.

Music Monday: Mean

All I will say about this is that taking the step to remove toxicity from your life/work/heart is always a good idea, and if you are slow about it or give those voices more chances than they deserve that is all part of your own growth, so don't let anyone tell you that you deserve that stuff. You don't. (lyrics in video, thank you Taylor Swift.)