It is true, what the memes say, that one of the worst of the big bads in Dungeons and Dragons when you play as an adult is scheduling. Take the schedules of 6-8 grown humans and try to make them fit into a single weekend day where everyone is available and let me know what you come up with, please?
Pure chaos, that's what you will come up with...but somehow, my group (Lorem Ipsum) seems to manage even when it has been several months between sessions. So today's Music Monday is for them...and for Barb, DK, Annet, Sloane, Rei, Widow, and Maera, our characters who were left in a pretty precarious situation yesterday. Huzzah! Chaotic Social Worker Wombat Wranglers Assemble! (It's cooler than it sounds, I promise.)
[Verse 1]Stuck in a dungeon, no gold to my name,
Kobolds in my face, and the cleric’s effing lame.
Spellbook’s heavy, but my heart’s full of spite,
Gonna light this crypt up with some arcane dynamite!
I’m no apprentice, I’m a wizard supreme,
Forget your lame ass healing potions, I’m living the dream.
One somatic gesture, and the whole room’s toast,
Fireball’s my baby, let’s burn down the coast!
[Pre-Chorus]
No more sneaking, rogue, put your daggers away,
This ain’t a stealth mission, it’s a blaze of glory day!
Point and shoot, let the flames run wild,
Fireball’s the spell that makes the DM cry!
[Chorus]
Fireball, let it rip, watch the whole place fry!
8 D 6 damage, kiss those minions goodbye!
Boom, crash, burn, let the chaos ignite,
Fireball, Fireball, we’re exploding tonight!
Scorch the beholder, roast the troll’s ugly mug,
Bard’s on fire, guess he shouldn’t have shrugged!
Raise your staff, let the inferno fly,
Fireball, Fireball, watching everybody die!
[Verse 2]
Party’s screaming, “Aim it somewhere else, you dick!”
But I’m laughing like a lich as the flames start to lick.
Fighter’s got plate mail, but it’s melting to slag,
“Sorry, bro, you’re crispy—blame my spell slot brag!”
Forget your Eldritch Blast, that’s warlock trash,
Ice Knife’s for hipsters, and Thunderwave’s a rash.
Fireball’s the king, it’s the wizard’s true jam,
One bad reflex save, and you’re ash in a can!
[Pre-Chorus]
No counterspell’s touching this, I’m a magical god,
Arcane focus my power, prepare to be awed
From the Underdark to the tavern’s front door,
Fireball’s the reason we keep settling scores!
[Chorus]
Fireball, let it rip, watch the whole place fry!
8 D 6 damage, kiss your minions goodbye!
Boom, crash, burn, let the chaos ignite,
Fireball, Fireball, we’re exploding tonight!
Scorch the beholder, roast the troll’s ugly mug,
Bard’s on fire, guess he shouldn’t have shrugged!
Raise your staff, let the inferno fly,
Fireball, Fireball, watch the hit points die!
[Bridge]
Roll, roll, roll those dice, let the damage stack!
Paladin’s praying, but his god ain’t got his back!
Cast, cast, cast, no regrets, full send!
“Sorry, Druid, your treant’s kindling—make amends!”
You’re not just a caster, you’re a walking apocalypse,
Turning goblins to charcoal with a flick of your wrist!
So crank the volume, let the table go mad,
Fireball’s the spell that makes the whole campaign sad!
[Final Chorus]
Fireball, let it rip, watch the whole place fry!
8 D 6 damage, kiss your minions goodbye!
Boom, crash, burn, let the chaos ignite,
Fireball, Fireball, we’re exploding tonight!
Nuke the mind flayer, torch the lich’s whole vibe,
DM’s screaming, “My plotline won’t survive!”
Raise your staff, let the inferno fly,
Fireball, Fireball, watch the hit points die!
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